Better

So I'm getting way better. It's been a few weeks since I've been able to walk, and my surgery did really affect my mood but it seems I'm recovering from it. Finally!!! My suicidal thoughts were returning and so were my urges to cut, although I think I maintained to stay calm without cutting. Well like I said I'm feeling much better, my confidence is growing with each day and usually when this happy feeling would occur I'd be afraid of how hard I would fall. This time, I'm prepared if I do fall. HA depression, F U! I know what I want in life and I will get there.
Of course some things I still need to work on, is eating healthy and getting rid of the rubber band I snap on my wrist. The surgery made me gain weight and I've been trying to eat way less to get back to where I was before the knee surgery. I still snap a rubber band on my wrist when I'm triggered, so I need to find a replacement. Oh and another thing is that I still feel trapped. I think I'm going to feel like this until I'm able to get out of here, be away and at college. Be able to start a new life in a way and not have to continue this one. 
 So I hope I continue improving and I know it's possible for everyone so keep your faith and stay strong xoxo