Tired
I never seem to get enough sleep.
Even if I have a whole night to myslef and can put aside the worries and stress of the previous day or the day to come, I can't stay asleep.
When I wake up I sometimes have fleeting memories of the dreams I am having and they are good ones. So it is not worry or stress dreams that are waking me. I am not forced awake by the needs of my body to eliminate wastes. I don't know why I won't stay asleep.
But once I am awake, the anxiety of what happened that day or what I think will happen the next starts to hit me. This makes it difficult to get back to sleep and many times I will give up and get up to do something and generally don't get back to bed.
When I sleep I sleep pretty well, I don't toss and turn or twist my covers all over the place like I have seen others do. I generally lay there quietly and sleep. Maybe turning to my other side once or twice at most. I don't know what it is that wakes me.
I don't use any drugs to sleep at least nothing more than some Advil if my muscles are aching. I wonder if I should look into it? I don't like using drugs, tho.
Other than this report on sleeping, my situation is about the same. It lingers in the purgatory of others needing to get their own lives settled so I can return to mine. My mother needs to make some decisions on where she wants herself and my father to be placed after she finishes rehab from her hospital visit and she won't commit to anything. When asked a direct question about something she says she doesn't know what she should do. She wants to make the decision that will please everyone and that is not possible with my brother wanting the complete opposite of almost everyone else (at least everyone else with which I have spoken) so she makes no decision at all. This two frustrates and makes me anxious. I can't understand what hold my brother has over her that it keeps her from making the choices that are best for her and everyone if they would not be what he wants.
I hope that when the time comes and she has to decide she will make the right decisions and let my brother have to deal with it. he has had enough coddling from her and my father and needs to grow up. My parents can't bow to the will of their tantrum throwing, spoiled child any longer. It is one thing to have my sister who has the mentality of a ten year old do this but when their grown son does the same thing, they need to put him in his place. Though it may mean my own future finances may be also lost, my parents need to take care of themselves.
If you are the type to do it, please give a little prayer for my mother to have the wisdom to do what is needed to be done.
Even if I have a whole night to myslef and can put aside the worries and stress of the previous day or the day to come, I can't stay asleep.
When I wake up I sometimes have fleeting memories of the dreams I am having and they are good ones. So it is not worry or stress dreams that are waking me. I am not forced awake by the needs of my body to eliminate wastes. I don't know why I won't stay asleep.
But once I am awake, the anxiety of what happened that day or what I think will happen the next starts to hit me. This makes it difficult to get back to sleep and many times I will give up and get up to do something and generally don't get back to bed.
When I sleep I sleep pretty well, I don't toss and turn or twist my covers all over the place like I have seen others do. I generally lay there quietly and sleep. Maybe turning to my other side once or twice at most. I don't know what it is that wakes me.
I don't use any drugs to sleep at least nothing more than some Advil if my muscles are aching. I wonder if I should look into it? I don't like using drugs, tho.
Other than this report on sleeping, my situation is about the same. It lingers in the purgatory of others needing to get their own lives settled so I can return to mine. My mother needs to make some decisions on where she wants herself and my father to be placed after she finishes rehab from her hospital visit and she won't commit to anything. When asked a direct question about something she says she doesn't know what she should do. She wants to make the decision that will please everyone and that is not possible with my brother wanting the complete opposite of almost everyone else (at least everyone else with which I have spoken) so she makes no decision at all. This two frustrates and makes me anxious. I can't understand what hold my brother has over her that it keeps her from making the choices that are best for her and everyone if they would not be what he wants.
I hope that when the time comes and she has to decide she will make the right decisions and let my brother have to deal with it. he has had enough coddling from her and my father and needs to grow up. My parents can't bow to the will of their tantrum throwing, spoiled child any longer. It is one thing to have my sister who has the mentality of a ten year old do this but when their grown son does the same thing, they need to put him in his place. Though it may mean my own future finances may be also lost, my parents need to take care of themselves.
If you are the type to do it, please give a little prayer for my mother to have the wisdom to do what is needed to be done.
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