SSDD

Life has definitely been a rollercoaster. I have not written anything since December. I have been selfish just thinking about myself and being sick. I found out in January that I have carcinoid in my intestine. This is a very stange type of cancer. It is also know as neuroendocrine neoplsm. It only affects 2 out of every 100,000 people. I have had so many blood tests and scans done that I feel like this never stops. I have an appointment in Mt. Sinai on Tuesday with a specialist. I am so scared. I don;t know what lies ahead, maybe surgery, maybe chemo or radiation. I will try to fight this cancer thing that is for sure. My husband has been so supportive. My husband lost his job 2 weeks ago and I am getting worried that we will not be able to get back on track as soon as I want this to happen. I know GOD has timing for everything. I never thought we would be going through all of this, losing our daughter, jail, cancer, never ending medical bills and no extra income. I am praying and welcome all prayers. I just want to wake up and find out that this was just a bad nightmare. This can;t be my life. I never imagined this. My daughter would have been 12 this year. She was in my dreams last night. I miss herso much. I know we will see eacg other some day soon in Heaven. Better things to come.