Haven't written anything in a while, not because I have mothing to say, but because depression has really taken over my life. My counsler referred me to a psychaiatrist. This was a shoick to me. I knew I was not doing good but it just seems so strange to see a psychaitrist. I know I need help and know that I can;t do this on my own. I know, I have tried and failed many times. And now I have accepted I need help. I started Zoloft and it made me so sick. I toodk it 5 days and my legs were swollen, I was so agitated and could hardly breath. I am scared of trying something new. Does this happen with every pill ? Why am I so sensitive to medication ? Pernicious anemia makes me feel so handicapped. The balance problem is so aggravating.. I want to do normal things that people take fro granted and I just can't. I am still on B12 shots. Iron pills just kill my stomach. Still trying to feel better. Just got out of teh hospital on tuesday. Had an endoscopy and colonoscopy. Of course, the doctor called and needs to talk to me aboutsomething besides the chronic gastrtis. Just give me the bad news. I am used to it. As for HPV, the though is always lingering in my head, the minute I wake up, I feel like it's there and has moved in forever. I will fight this battle and I may die but I will not let HPV get me.