it's just that simple, I don't wanna play anymore.  it's not been fun, I've not enjoyed it. I am a disappointment to myself more than anyone else, everything that has happend to me in the last few years has just finally got to me to the point that I dont know what to do. as of  these last few weeks , I have had a ton more dumped on me. everything I had set out to acheive seems to be gone. I have alot of medical crap in my future and I dont know how I am going to get through it.  it just seems pointless and futile to try. I feel like a failure and I just dont know if I even want to try to fight anymore.