Hi all, had an interesting week, hope you all have had a good one. Mine was interesting in the sense that it was eye opening, for lack of a better description. I was with a person on my job that is either too lazy or incapable of doing their job and I had to pick up their slack.....physically. I did alot of lifting, as in people. to make a long story short, I did it, was I sore , yes.....but I did it. flashback for a moment to my Mom, she is a fragile looking little woman, but if she wants something accomplished, she gets it done! she would say she couldn't do this or that, simple things like getting a jar open, but then when she wanted a book from the back of the closet, she would empty the boxes out of the closet get the box she wanted and get the book she wanted out of it and return everything! I think I am selling myself short, I think I am giving myself tooooo many pity parties. yes , sometimes I cant function, but sometimes I think I am using Lyme as an excuse to hide from the world and feel sorry for myself. I am having a hard time telling the difference between those two times, and I think the people around me are also. I look like death, I am so pale, makeup is a waste. I hardly eat, but days when I do, I pig out! lol I am so looking forward to summer and afraid of it at the same time. I just want to be able to function at the same level that I used to. there are some days that I feel like being active , but I have to plan them out. If I am scheduled to work the next day I have to pass on physical activity for fear that I will pay for it the next day and be unable to go to work and I have no more sick time and no savings. everytime I try to get ahead by pulling a little overtime, or get mandated to work overtime I end up missing work and going unpaid thus defeating the point. but it seems to be getting better again, I think. but all I read , and the people with Lyme that I talk to.....it's all the same story.......you just get progressively worse. you may have a good spell here and there and there are those who claim to be cured (MORE POWER TO YOU!) and I am open to that, but I am a realist. I see the masses, not the few. if you can't tell I am very confused.........
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