Today has been an odd symptom day, all kinds of twitches and spasms all over. Typically I get lil tiny spasms in my back along my spine at about where your thoracic and lumbar areas meet. today they were in my arm and leg and neck and and and. not painful just little twitches, Had a couple involuntary movements and some creepy crawlies and a weird blurry vision thing. got up to get something came back and ploped on the couch and my vision went really hazy. both eyes, started gettin a headache, not bad, very mild and my eyes wanted to shut. figured ,I m tired so took a nice nap and when I awoke all was fine. oh yeah and the numbness in my left foot started too. made me wonder if I have more little "quirks" when I am tired. probably I guess.  hummmmmmm. worked last night and didnt get much sleep. had a bit of an mental and emotionally draining day. did paperwork most of the day, and then had some patients who played on my emotions a bit. a homeless guy last night we found on a bench sleeping, cried when the cops wanted to take him to jail, if I woulda had any money on me , I woulda slipped it in his pocket.....then he became an ass, cops made him do a breathalizer and he blew 3 times the legal limit. started being rude and I was gonna take him to the hospital to detox but told him fine , go to jail buddy, see ya. (he went to the hospital, yeah , Im a softy :p) then had a lady this morning...sigh...dx with metastatic lung cancer (meaning it had "metastisized" or spread all over) last month, she had been through 1 round of chemo and had 5 left. I knew when I first saw her she wasnt gonna make it through the day. family was totally unprepared. luckily she and hubby had talked about her not wanting to be on a ventilator and he was sure in his wish to honor hers. she died a half  hour after we got her to the hospital. just stood there watching the family grieve, dunno why , should have left. just wanted to help and didnt know how. I hate watching familes cry and grieve, usually run like hell. wanted to stay for some reason so I did. sucky part of my job. but I wanna go like she did, peacefully. noboby really messed with her her last hours, no breathing tube, no machines, just her family around her holding her hands. .......okay no that I have depressed the s**t out of you all.....I am fine , really. just cant sperate myself from that part of my job dont like to see people die, but if they have to go , the peaceful way is always better. I think this sweet little woman got to me so much because of all that has happened as of late. my hubby with cancer, my mom in a nursing home, my friend lost both his parents in 1 month, my hubbys longtime friend died (45 years old) had a really bad wreck a couple weeks ago , a 14 year old girl died. hummmm, perhaps I should rethink this Paramedic thing..lol. little late now..hehe...I love my job (how the hell does she love all that you say..lol)......wow, didnt know I needed to vent this bad....sorry guys :)   I know what would make me feel better!!! I need to birth a baby...yeah.... that always make you feel gooooooood and cry happy tears!   Im such a sap...lol...  I show up in the ambulance, deliver the baby and cry more than mom does, at least I did in the delivery room , I have yet to deliver a baby in the field....a placenta (yipee!!!!) but not a baby. hummm, just the thought makes me smile :)...babies and puppies babies and puppies....weeeee, Im smilin...giggle giggle