20th March - 14 April: In which the world is turned upside down and I make holes in my knees

My dearest Kitty,                   So, it's the last week of the holidays and it's about eight minutes to eleven. I'm really hyper at the moment and I haven't a clue why. These hols have actually been surprisingly fun; I usually don't like them because I get bored rigid on the first day, but I've done so much that it's mostly been great!                   These hols:                           - I have learnt how to roller skate forwards, backwards and to do a half lutz                           - episode 106 of Sailor Moon has been seen!                           - Hector has flipped again                           - most of Fraser's life seems to have gone wrong                           - I have done twenty four pages of Biology notes, making it thirty eight pages of revision notes overall, and they're all colour coded and glittery!                           - Dad and I have managed to murder Brahms, De Falla and Schumann                           - I have learnt how to play the opening chords of the Rachmaninoff Second                           - I have a new bed!                           - Christ has risen!                    A lot, don't you think?          So, let's start at the very beginning because it's a very good place to start (the film of which I have bought on DVD AND it has singalong - hurrah!) It was actually the first full day of the hols and my computer, unsurprisingly, would not connect to the internet. Eventually, I gave up and had a root arond under my bed to find something else to do, whereupon I came across my roller skates! I actually got them for Christmas the year before last, but after I fell over and sprained my wrist, I gave up. Anyway, I was bored, so what else could I do? So, I've learnt how to go forwards, stop, go backwards and then I worked out last week how to jump! I need to work on not rotating early, but it looks pretty good when I get some height into it! Miriam and I are going to the headmaster on the first day back to ask if we can offer it as a vol, or at the very least be allowed to do it in our free time. Hopefully, he'll say yes.         What was my second point? Oh yes...I'm over halfway through!! Only another ninety four episode to go...         Ah, point three. Big point, this. I have a feeling that I'm going to do a very very long blog entry that involves a lot of absolute rubbish, so anyone reading, STOP NOW and do something worthwhile!!!         Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. Hector. I think it happened somewhere around the fifth of April, after several other arguments that I've had with him these hols. Basically, I'm a bitch, a slut and incredibly selfish because I 'never gave anything back to our relationship'. I can't even remember why it happened...oh. We'd been talking about views on certain topics, and then the day after, I got a message saying '...anyway, I've finally managed to clear myself of all feelings for you.''Ok''I no longer have feelings for you because I thought a lot about our relationship and you never gave anything back to it because it's all take, take, take with you...'And so on. That wasn't exactly what it said, but you get the gist of it. I can't even remember what brought it on. It's all very confusing, and he's also insulted me on his blog. Ok, so I'm a selfish, slutty bitch. So what? I try not to be. Thinking about this, the whole argument started with me refusing to give him my password. Hector said '...it's not about that, and you know it. It's about trust.' I thought about this, and thought yes, it was about trust, but it was a trust you misused. You knew my password and you showed some of my blogs to Fraser that I REALLY didn't want him to see, as well as reading them when I didn't want you to! Why else would I mark them as 'private'? Anyway, rant over.      So yes, I agree with him. I am selfish. I am a bitch. So thank you, Hector. You've opened my eyes to this, and I am deliberately trying not to be like that. It gives me something to work on, and hopefully it'll make me a much better person. So thank you. And I'm sorry for telling you to 'bugger off' once; I did have a right to be angry at that point, though - you had just called me 'naive' - and then you telling me repeatedly to go away using much stronger language is just as bad, I think. So don't blame me. It's not entirely my fault. I don't know how to make things better, and I'm not going to try if what you wrote in your last blog is how you think of me. But thank you all the same.             Fourth point, then. No ranting here. I'm not going to go into detail because I don't think he would like me to, but he's had a bad holiday. Really bad. All I can do is try and be there for him, so that's what I'm going to do. I've been worried about him for most of the last three weeks, and I don't know how I can possibly help...it's difficult, to say the least. But I'm trying. He's helped me so much that it's the very least that I coould possibly do. The same goes for all my friends, so if you need ever anything at all, any of you, I'm here!!!             Fifthpointwise, I've been working a lot for the last two weeks...ok, that's a lie. I've done about two hours of revision a day, and skated for the rest of it. I'm hoping for rain so I can actually get some work done!!!! It looks nice though, and colours help me remember things better, so it should be good when I've finished!             The next two points: Dad and I have been working on violin music together, and the Brahms Scherzo from the F.A.E is one of my pieces for my recital next term. Dad can't play the piano part (it's very, VERY hard) and I - because I haven't played it properly since my grade eight - can't play the violin part. The Schumann is two of the other movements from the same piece, and the De Falla is the Danse Espagnol which I'm doing for my Diploma this Christmas, and I can't play that either (but neither can Dad, so it's fine!) Rachmaninoffwise, the second piano concerto is my favorite piece at the moment, and I'm trying to learn it. Unfortunately, Rachmaninoff seems to write for people who have ridiculously big hands (like Fraser) so it's quite hard and I can't always reach the F. For those who don't know it, it's the one that goes BANG bom BANG bom BANG bom BANG bom BANG bom BANG bom BANG bom baBANG BANG BANG BANG BANG diddle diddle diddle diddle...etcetera.             The point after that; we've been to Ikea and I've started to redo my room! My bed is a black and white cabin bed and it's really close to the celing, but it's nice that way. My room actually looks like a normal girl's room, now, not like a guest room in our house!!!! It's really cool, and it'll look even better when I've painted it and done the rest of it!             The last point it because it was Easter on Sunday, so these hols really have been busy! Fenny and Pop came to stay, and it was actually quite fun...           Cecily's friend is coming up tomorrow, and her boyfriend went back to Belfast last Thursday. They're coming up to Oundle next quarter, so I'm taking them to Beans and making them meet all my friends...well, those that they haven't met yet!              I don't really have any other news, other than that we go back to school on Sunday and I'm really looking forward to the next term! It's going to be really good!!! I may have exams and things, but the rest is going to be long walks, skating, seeing friends...it'll be the best summer term ever!!!I'll write more soon; it's twenty five to twelve and I really should go to bed. Sorry about all the rubbish, but I've wanted to blog, and I had a lot of rubbish to write down...Forever yours,Francesca