Today was a hard day emotionally. I went home for 8 hrs, I was very tired when I came back. It was hard to be home when Bruce is not well. When he is not well he is grumpy, I know he means nothing by it, he is not mad at me, he is mad at his body for giving out on him. But it is hard to be around. I also think he is upset that St. Mary's closed down visiting, we got flu here & they are trying to prevent the spread of it. But in the mean time he can not come in to see me. Any kind of stress bothers his heart.
He saw his doc's & they do not know if his heart is making his lungs bad or his lungs making his heart bad. He goes for an echo cardiogram on the 26 & sees his heart doc on the 31st. Hopefully we will find out what is wrong with him. I think he is worried about me as well.
I got steriods a week ago & they are not working as well as they should. My MS Doc told me that they will stop working at some point, I just thought they would keep on working for a while yet. I am still numb in the feet & lower legs. My hands are numb & I started to drop things. My back is numb as well. My arms feel like they are a hundred lbs, it is getting harder to do things. Simple things tire out my arms, eating now takes longer I need to take breaks to rest. Getting washed up in the morning requires more effort, I need more help. It seems like I am slowly getting worse, I am going to need to talk to my doc's about this. I have been putting my head in the sand b/c I did not want to face what was happening. I think I am going to have to see my MS doc to find out what he thinks is going on.
I tell myself to keep faith, & I will make it through this to.
He saw his doc's & they do not know if his heart is making his lungs bad or his lungs making his heart bad. He goes for an echo cardiogram on the 26 & sees his heart doc on the 31st. Hopefully we will find out what is wrong with him. I think he is worried about me as well.
I got steriods a week ago & they are not working as well as they should. My MS Doc told me that they will stop working at some point, I just thought they would keep on working for a while yet. I am still numb in the feet & lower legs. My hands are numb & I started to drop things. My back is numb as well. My arms feel like they are a hundred lbs, it is getting harder to do things. Simple things tire out my arms, eating now takes longer I need to take breaks to rest. Getting washed up in the morning requires more effort, I need more help. It seems like I am slowly getting worse, I am going to need to talk to my doc's about this. I have been putting my head in the sand b/c I did not want to face what was happening. I think I am going to have to see my MS doc to find out what he thinks is going on.
I tell myself to keep faith, & I will make it through this to.
Replies
Kayce,
I feel bad that things are not going well now, but as we both know things will get better. I wish you would not worry till Bruce gets the tests done, as we both know what stress does to us. You know I\'m always here for you and Bruce, and will keep you both in my prayers. I had a heart attack at 35 years of age, so I think Bruce is really doing well even if it don\'t look like it, like you have said he does come from good stock, and I bet he is good for the real long run, so don\'t stress till you get the tests and than don\'t stress, as it will work out.
Dave
I know about grumpy men. They tend to hold things in when they are afraid and don\'t feel well or don\'t want to worry you about things and just won\'t talk about it so they are grumpy instead. I\'ve got one of those guys. The grumpy part wasn\'t included in the marriage vows but should have been. He\'s just worried about himself and maybe you too. So he\'s worried enough for the both of you. Like Dave said, don\'t you worry too. It just tends to make things harder on your body and you are going through enough right now. Try to stay calm until Bruce has his tests. Maybe it will rub off on him. I hope and pray for good results for him and that things will even out for you as well. Lots of prayers for you both and as always, Gentle hugs, Linda