so I sent out a letter to my attorney. just curious as to why her opinion of how this should be handled changed so rapidly and drastically. I agree that if it can be settled without a trial go for it. only issue is that stbx thinks all matters should be settled the way HE deems fit whether right or wrong. fair is fair. he walked. I didn't. He cheated repeatedly. I didn't. He has absolutely no contact with his sons. His loss. I still have more than he will ever have. Maybe he needs a meeting with god to understand what he's done. His life is what it is and if thats his choice then so be it. Just don't drag me down with you. Get this over with and make it look at least reasonably fair. 29 yrs with him and I deserve more than he wants to give.