been absent from here for far too long. Lots has been going down. We had worked on reconciliation. Lasted from march 2011 to sept 2, 2011. Then he left Yet again. did nc rule for months. then he started calling and stopping in. didnt spend holidays with him. no christmas, not my birthday, no valentines day. nothing.
let me backtrack a little. when he left in sept. I was the one who told him not to come back., He plead to let him do the counseling but I said enough. Then I gave in and started talking again. BUT I stood strong in a sense and DID NOT let him move back. I saw him maybe 2-4 times from oct to dec. Then he got back to not calling again. I got flowers in January for my birthday with card that said "I didnt forget. love*" he even got to where he said the L word before hanging up phone. I never did. In feb it just wasnt feeling right so I told him 3 weeks in a row it was over and I had enough. He kept saying "I dont want a divorce. did I say I did?" Told him no he didnt say it but i was. He again urged me to wait for the counseling. He talked bout getting off the road as soon as he paid some bills off. I kept to my guns and did not let him move back in. I hadnt seen him since dec 23rd when he stopped to give my sons gifts.
february 11 i finally told him (again no contact with him since dec 23rd. just random calls) while on my job that it was over and I was done. again the no divorce crap. counseling crap. I finally spoke to him 3 weeks later and said I had contacted lawyer. he asked what i wanted. agreed to waive his right and use my lawyer, thot it was all set. Today I found out he got his own lawyer now. Who cares? guaranteed this lawyer doesnt know the true story. I found out month ago he is buying house in neighboring state. Dont know how because legally I have to sign off for him to get loan. No papers came here for me to sign. He thinks he will only have to pay couple of years for spousal support. threatened to commit suicide if he had to do it forever. real man. I have taken the steps. My lawyer is good and knows ex's ways. He thinks he is rushing this thru for some reason. Money hidden? New gf? (who cares, someone else's problem) But now we can get his financial records and other paperwork he didnt or want to give me.
Lawyer says looks good for me so I hope it is and this is over soon.
I am emotionally drained and dont want the stress any more. Parents are worried I'll have nervous breakdown but I am stronger than that. He wont win that way. I am in process of finding a support group locally. Have call in to another counselor since my old one never returned any calls. Shame cause i liked him. Not that I'm not religious but the closest one is more for bringing God into my life. I believe my strength is coming from God cause I know I didnt have as much but I dont want movies to watch. I want one on one to help me figure out my emotions. They are strong ones right now and mostly are lots of hate.
let me backtrack a little. when he left in sept. I was the one who told him not to come back., He plead to let him do the counseling but I said enough. Then I gave in and started talking again. BUT I stood strong in a sense and DID NOT let him move back. I saw him maybe 2-4 times from oct to dec. Then he got back to not calling again. I got flowers in January for my birthday with card that said "I didnt forget. love*" he even got to where he said the L word before hanging up phone. I never did. In feb it just wasnt feeling right so I told him 3 weeks in a row it was over and I had enough. He kept saying "I dont want a divorce. did I say I did?" Told him no he didnt say it but i was. He again urged me to wait for the counseling. He talked bout getting off the road as soon as he paid some bills off. I kept to my guns and did not let him move back in. I hadnt seen him since dec 23rd when he stopped to give my sons gifts.
february 11 i finally told him (again no contact with him since dec 23rd. just random calls) while on my job that it was over and I was done. again the no divorce crap. counseling crap. I finally spoke to him 3 weeks later and said I had contacted lawyer. he asked what i wanted. agreed to waive his right and use my lawyer, thot it was all set. Today I found out he got his own lawyer now. Who cares? guaranteed this lawyer doesnt know the true story. I found out month ago he is buying house in neighboring state. Dont know how because legally I have to sign off for him to get loan. No papers came here for me to sign. He thinks he will only have to pay couple of years for spousal support. threatened to commit suicide if he had to do it forever. real man. I have taken the steps. My lawyer is good and knows ex's ways. He thinks he is rushing this thru for some reason. Money hidden? New gf? (who cares, someone else's problem) But now we can get his financial records and other paperwork he didnt or want to give me.
Lawyer says looks good for me so I hope it is and this is over soon.
I am emotionally drained and dont want the stress any more. Parents are worried I'll have nervous breakdown but I am stronger than that. He wont win that way. I am in process of finding a support group locally. Have call in to another counselor since my old one never returned any calls. Shame cause i liked him. Not that I'm not religious but the closest one is more for bringing God into my life. I believe my strength is coming from God cause I know I didnt have as much but I dont want movies to watch. I want one on one to help me figure out my emotions. They are strong ones right now and mostly are lots of hate.
Replies
03/13/2012 1:15pm
I\'m glad that you reached out to us here on DS again.
I so understand all of the feelings that you are going through. I\'ve been divorced for 15 months now. I\'m glad that part is over.
Divorce brings up so many emotions, sometimes different ones everyday. Keep up with the counseling, reach out to friends and rely on your children when you need to.
I\'m sending you (((Hugs))), prayers, comforting thoughts, understanding, friendship and love.
If the divorce support group you refer to is Divorce Care, I strongly encourage you to at least go to two or three meetings. Some groups are \"heavier\" on the scriptural stuff, but regardless, it is extremely helpful to be in a group who are experiencing the same life-changing experience that you are.
The local group that I belonged to back in 2006-2007 invited me back last fall to be an Alumni/Mentor. It was very rewarding and I think my presence \"Living Breathing Proof of Life After Divorce\" was helpful to the members.