2020

i put a smiley on how my mood on the year 20 20 yellow man , tho this has been a messed  up year , it also has brought some good . my husband and i still have each other. our kids are well . malinas kids are grown really . sheridan is18 and holden 16 today . wish we had got to be more in their lives. i truly think e scared malina and she didnt want her kids to know .. so now we are mostly strangers --sigh .. justins kids ..he and ladonna share with me and george and have from the beginning .  its meant a lot yellow man ..where i have always been partial to boys since having 2 of my own i guess , these kids were cuties but then wham frankie hated me at first ! we would need to keep him a short time and him little  he would scream if i went to change his diaper!! george would have to come sit beside him so i could change his diaper!!!! now there was times i held him when he was little but not many. and that was when he was tiny..right away soon as he saw george he bonded with him ...no kidding .he would need a hand on his diaper to help him get on the couch where george was ,but by gosh he would sit as close to him as he could ....to this day they have a special bond .. i have never heard frankie not yell for papw first ,and if i go over there without him -its like where is papaw!!!! not nana!!!!and george adores this boy!!!he loves the other 2 but swears frankie has them beat on the smarts.. now frankie bless my heart has come to love me , mmmm wonder if it is because the other 2 yell for me also , or because frankie knows george is with me a lot of times and there fore has to accept me ..lol .  o yellow man they do make me laugh when i get to think ing life is crap!!  frankie will crack me up , like he will still poop on his self at times , i tell him frankie when u get to go to school (learning at home at present for covid) tho starting back.  ..   all the kids will laugh at u and call u poopy head and not want to play with u .  yellow man u know what this boy told me i think he is 5 now . ] he said with disgust no nana -- the other kids will say how gross!! and the teacher wont get mad .  it was like the how gross thing was acool thing -lol. this kids amazing .  then adam he has this smile that lights the world up . and blue eyes that with that smile is going to make justin and ladonna grandparents at avery young age ! lol.  adam i wish i could to take to tak won do he needs this sructure learning , he has not learnt yet found his ninch in life and so unsure of hisself . and is a wonderful kid . he is very intellignt he is a thinker -- i do see him going far ..for some reason george has a problem with adam , no fault to adam , does adam remind george of someone from his past who knows but he treats him different . i will act dumb on some things like how to fold that paper up several different ways andadamhas this done in a flas and it makes him feel so good . when he wants me to go somewhere to watch him like outside he says i will carry ur cup nana ..lol .. now kyla has become a princess , i adore her to no end . instead of the boys her and i grew closer for a long time .. we wentout to the mall for a kids spa .. and it was all about her thatday .. cookies from the mall afterwards and out to eat and we use to fgo get milk shakes after shool . buy cheap things .now as she has got older i have saw her tell some lies to her adavange and she knows how to pretend to cry to get away with things , and when she purposely {  accidently }  hurts one of the boys and gets caught she will go off to pout and nothing is done to correct it , no talking to  or etc..      so attimes she gets mad at me i will say kyla dont believe you!!   or i will let her know by saying kyla why did u do that .. and when she wants to be selfish when i babysit i remind her if she doesnt share  brothers will not have to share with her .  so at times sh just goes in  and lately when she pouts she will sneak off and go in thru the back door or hide back in a corner.. i tell her she has to come sit with me outside i miss her and talk to me , i dont let her stay in when she sneaks off when she is pouting .  which she does if the boys get in her way when sheis riding her bike and she doesnt want to go around them. or something silly. her and i are still close it would help if we could go out spend some time together again -her and i . {not covid}then i started talking to george  he needed to quit letting kyla crawl on his lap . she was getting to big .. she would want to climb his leg and do a flip i have had a hard time stopping this one .. she used to want to cuddle with him in the chair with a blankit watching t.v. i had to push to stop this he didnt get that she was too old for this .. she can bat her eyes and papaw will jump hoops for her .lol .  no kidding she can do no wrong!! now as you can tell i love these kids they save my sanity many times which i am so thankul these kids are in my life and mine they are hoilmans ...   please yellow man never would i say it  exept to my husband  he knows how i feel. and thats all he will say to me .  i am soo jelouse of my sisters for they blood grand kids , gene will never have kids.. and tho i have grandkids who i adore from malina and justin they are not blood . i so wanted to hold my real grandbaby and know i had part of me that going on by blood .. isnt that stupid .. but always i wanted this from way back ......it just wasnt meant to be yellow man ..  but i have been so lucky to be loved by my kids .. now yellow man   and then the world crashed ..