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This is going to just be me pissing and moaning so if you don't want to read any further thats ok. I wouldn't read any further myself.
I am so tired no run down. I hate having to try to keep my head above water. It seems like all i ever do any more is struggle with the thoughts of hurting myself. I know they are only thoughts and i don't have to act on them. It is just the fact that they are always there. I need to talk to my doc about doing some thing with adjusting my med's. I screwed up the last time i was suppose to see him. It has now been about 5 months. I also screwed up at the pharmacist. I told them to cancel a med i am suppose to take. I have to get a script from him to get it again. The problem is i don't get to see him until October 9. I am going to try and talk with his asst-ant and see if i can get a script that way. Like i said i am just rambling. But have to get it out some how.
I am so tired no run down. I hate having to try to keep my head above water. It seems like all i ever do any more is struggle with the thoughts of hurting myself. I know they are only thoughts and i don't have to act on them. It is just the fact that they are always there. I need to talk to my doc about doing some thing with adjusting my med's. I screwed up the last time i was suppose to see him. It has now been about 5 months. I also screwed up at the pharmacist. I told them to cancel a med i am suppose to take. I have to get a script from him to get it again. The problem is i don't get to see him until October 9. I am going to try and talk with his asst-ant and see if i can get a script that way. Like i said i am just rambling. But have to get it out some how.
Replies
Hi Guy, have you tried using Youtube to get your mind off of things?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHeV19V3drI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4FYsnMooP0&feature=list_other&playnext=1&list=SPD7087F93142770F2
These are a couple of nice ones and there are links to plenty of others. I hope they help. Take care.
You should never go off your meds. As far as having thoughts of hurting yourself is having suicidal ideation. which means that you are really thinking about it but not acting upon it. Life is worth living. You are just going thru a hard time in your life right now.. I\'ll keep you in my prayers. Much Love to you. Hugs.......Rainey
Hey Guy.....I read further because sometimes I can relate to your feelings so deeply. My friend, we are all hurting ourselves in one way or another, it would seem that the process you have chosen is more upfront and in your face. Cutting is a direct and immediate experience, one in which you are in complete control of being out of control.
Most of us just go auto pilot and in denial...I respect you so much for having the balls to admit your feelings here in an open forum.
If meds help then by all mean take the friggin meds. My mom is 91, a bipolar manic depressive and has been on one med or another since she was in her early 20\'s....she\'s still kickin. Depakote and paxil has been the combo that has leveled her out.
Double check with the pharmacy as one can decline to fill a script by choice, but it can still be valid.....otherwise the doc should do this via phone given your immediate need. Good luck sweetie.
Much love always....Rebecca
I sure hope you get some meds that help and find the strength to endure this difficult time. Hugs.