Update
Well its been a long time since I've written anything so I thought it was time for an update. I finally moved out of my small-town existence, although I do miss some aspects of it. I've moved in with my brother and he's helping me get settled and find a job. I don't get along very well with my family mostly because they don't accept me for me and always try to make me something I'm not and won't let me do anything that I want, which sounds selfish of me I know, but trying to live as someone I'm not just makes everything worse. My brother isn't so bad, he has his moments of being a "big brother" and tries to dictate my life; however, I'm not ten anymore and can tell him to mind his own business. Overall its a nice change and its helped me a lot in terms of getting away from the past. . .but there are some things you just can't run away from. Being in a new place is scary for me, I've had my freak-out moments and days where I just shit down and then other days where I can't stop doing things. Nothing I can really do about it, just roll with the punches and deal with what comes when it comes.
I've also got back in touch with old friends who I know in town and I've had a few chances to hang out and catch up, its been nice and good for me to see them again. Its nice to have friends that will take the time to just simply be together or talk for no real purpose but just for the hell of it. I'm usually a very solitary person but once in a while I don't mind some friend time, it lets me know not all people are rotten. But the people that I want back in my life, the ones who are the most help to me--they're still missing in my life. Granted I do get to talk with them from time to time but its not the same as being physically with them. I suppose that I should be thankful for what I get and not be wishing for what I can't have, and I'm sure that those who are in my life right now are what I need most otherwise they wouldn't be here. I keep telling myself "Everything is as it should be and everyone is where they ought to be," but I still miss the one's who are most important to me.
I've also got back in touch with old friends who I know in town and I've had a few chances to hang out and catch up, its been nice and good for me to see them again. Its nice to have friends that will take the time to just simply be together or talk for no real purpose but just for the hell of it. I'm usually a very solitary person but once in a while I don't mind some friend time, it lets me know not all people are rotten. But the people that I want back in my life, the ones who are the most help to me--they're still missing in my life. Granted I do get to talk with them from time to time but its not the same as being physically with them. I suppose that I should be thankful for what I get and not be wishing for what I can't have, and I'm sure that those who are in my life right now are what I need most otherwise they wouldn't be here. I keep telling myself "Everything is as it should be and everyone is where they ought to be," but I still miss the one's who are most important to me.
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