2 a.m. sat early sunday sept 11,2011. veryone asleep

well 2 am here i am watching soaps on soap net. everyone is sleeping. i feel PRETTY GOOD.took muscle relaaxer an ddid some light exersises in the lift chair. di some arm stretches to. ok, be right back.....well, im back. had to take something i forgot to take earlier. it realy gets confusing somethimes  had to fill that pill thing for the whole week..have to call doc monday and try to get moore muscle relaxcers. they help i think they help alot. sometimes better than the pain pills. and dont have to have the same side effects? maybe ya never know. i should prob be in moore pain, im a big babyi dont know. i do take the pain pills but not alot. ussually 2 to 5 at the very most. thats big. i was taking them every 4 hrs, 2 ussually. why not it was hell in there and i was in A LOT OF PAIN. THANK GOD I MADE IT THREW THAT... ill never for get the place thats for sure. its weird, i NEVER know what sis or bro in law are thinking. esspecially tm. i mean im going to be here for A WHILE and i dont know how much have left and its only the 10th or so. im so fucked so very very bad. i am trying not to think aboutit but i know what i know. next month is going to be VERY BAD cause mike has to do the thing at school. oh lord let him get that stuff done asap........ i for got to call landlord will leave a message tommorow. that way i dont have to worry about him answering. im such a freak i know shouldint talk like that i know. its hard not to. its so hard so hard so hard sohard so hard so hard so hard.....ok, well at leaste  i got some exercing very light, and some upper body in chair. ok allready put that down.ok, i geuss thats all i got right now.     but am feeling better. still kinda nervoius, but ill be fine i hope. its a real bummer. im getting better where no one has to watch me ffor falling or anything. thats something. i think im doing very wel for a month after some wicked sergury. ok, by for now.....