2/7/2014
things are ok. having lunch with a friend today and going to Shreveport tomorrow for some errands and to have lunch with friends.
GETTING MY MEDS FILLED TODAY in hopes that they will help me get back on track. He is ALWAYS on my mind (the song not withstanding) and I have a continuous battle to keep myself from going on FB to check their fb posts. I have both blocked to keep me from doing that. Well, it doesn't stop me, but it makes it take longer....He has his page locked down pretty tight. Hers is filtered too but not as tight as his so I can occasionally see a post. Mostly I'm wanting to see where she is working (if she says) so that I can make a point of NOT going there.. I'm not giving in to temptation but it is a constant battle.
I did block him on my cell, texts, and email again. Not because he would bug me. He wouldn't. I have nothing he wants or needs. I just find it easier on me if I know there are no messages because he CANT send any rather than to see there are no messages because he doesn't want to send me any.
I guess there will come a day when he will never be on my mind. A day when I don't care anymore. Got a feeling it's gonna be one of those "I stopped loving her today" kinda deals though.. sigh....
GETTING MY MEDS FILLED TODAY in hopes that they will help me get back on track. He is ALWAYS on my mind (the song not withstanding) and I have a continuous battle to keep myself from going on FB to check their fb posts. I have both blocked to keep me from doing that. Well, it doesn't stop me, but it makes it take longer....He has his page locked down pretty tight. Hers is filtered too but not as tight as his so I can occasionally see a post. Mostly I'm wanting to see where she is working (if she says) so that I can make a point of NOT going there.. I'm not giving in to temptation but it is a constant battle.
I did block him on my cell, texts, and email again. Not because he would bug me. He wouldn't. I have nothing he wants or needs. I just find it easier on me if I know there are no messages because he CANT send any rather than to see there are no messages because he doesn't want to send me any.
I guess there will come a day when he will never be on my mind. A day when I don't care anymore. Got a feeling it's gonna be one of those "I stopped loving her today" kinda deals though.. sigh....
Replies
PLEASE do NOT stalk them on FB. Why are you doing that to yourself?
I hope your meds help you, and that you had fun with your friends.
I know. I\'m not-but it\'s a constant battle. I want to know where she is working so I don\'t get blindsided if it\'s someplace that I go to. I\'m not doing it though. yeah the meds should help....lots of things going on right now...
Oh Jackie please don\'t torture yourself.....this all has to hard enough to deal with without doing that to yourself.
I can understand the desire to want to be the one more in control of your life, but why not focus on controlling taking positive action to find a new joy in your life, a new passion?
Big ((((hug)))). Enjoy your trip to Shreveport and the time with your friends!
its all good. Got meds. Going to Shreveport. One day I will truly learn and stop going off my meds! Monday is the Navy Concert band on campus. Tuesday is a performance of Handels water music by our orchestra on campus. had great time at lunch yesterday with friends from my previous office. Gonna do it every Friday since we work half day. Going with them next month to a Gala horse show. In May we are all taking a road trip to Tennesse. Me for my brothers wedding and them for vacation. I get by with lots of help from my friends including all of you!