2/6/2014
Doing ok. But. I am on NC with ex. Only, there are some things we DO have to have contact about and this will go on for maybe 18 months. I had him blocked on FB, cell, email. The only way he could reach me was to leave a message on my land line. A couple weeks ago, I had to text him about something. I unblocked him so I could do that and we texted back and forth about that a little. Usually, I re-block him after the need is done. Until the next time. This time I didn't. I left the block off.
He texted me Monday about something and it was in fact something we did need to have contact about. financial stuff. So, we texted a little about that. Again, I did not re-block him. The problem? I started checking my phone constantly to see if I had a text from him. Even though there was no reason why I would. So, today I put the block back on. Its for me. If I know he cant text me....then I don't waste time and emotion looking to see if he has. I keep having to re learn this lesson....
He texted me Monday about something and it was in fact something we did need to have contact about. financial stuff. So, we texted a little about that. Again, I did not re-block him. The problem? I started checking my phone constantly to see if I had a text from him. Even though there was no reason why I would. So, today I put the block back on. Its for me. If I know he cant text me....then I don't waste time and emotion looking to see if he has. I keep having to re learn this lesson....
Replies
You sure did. Why do you even have to talk to him. What are lawyers for? I paid more, but my peace of mind was worth every cent. I fell into that trap too. But I put a quick stop to it. Changed my cell phone number and now only the ones I want, have it. Told him any conversation, talk to my lawyer. I am so done talking with you. When he persisted, I told him that someone in the mirror would love to talk to you, and he would listen too. You have to look after yourself. Be kind and gentle with yourself too. Hang on to the rollercoaster ride of a lifetime. But you will be fine. Hugs
It\'s not about the divorce. That\'s all done, final, etc. We had to file bankruptcy a couple of years ago. Way before the divorce. It\'s in our divorce papers that he has to make the payments on the bankruptcy-that\'s one of the conditions I gave him when he wanted out. And to be fair he told me that he\'d been planning to do that. Even though it\'s in the divorce papers, my name is still on the bankruptcy and it cant be taken off because some of the debts were mine. Every now and then something comes up and he has to let me know and he needs copies of stuff. I dont have/need a lawyer. I set down conditions to the divorce and he met them. It was/is very amicable-even though it does hurt.The bankruptcy should be completed in 18 months or so. He also contacts me when something big happens regarding the dogs. They were mine too and he knows I love them even though there was no way I could bring them with me.When it came time to put the oldest one to sleep, he let me know so I could spend some time with her first. The one that is now the oldest recently went blind in one eye and he let me know. Those are the only two reasons he ever gets in touch with me. I used to go over to the house and spend time with the dogs in the yard-when I knew he would not be there. It wasn\'t a problem. I knew he wouldnt care if I did. But once he moved #4 here, I stopped doing that. I decided even if I knew both of them were gone, it was not in my best interests mentally/emotionally to go over there anymore even though I miss the dogs quite a bit.
((((((hugs)))))) friend. I am thankful that he is at least being decent to you about letting you know about the dogs or keeping up his end of the deal with the bankruptcy, but I am sure that also has to make it hard on you to accept his betrayal and that he chose not to have you in his life any more.
I hope and pray you can find a new peace and happiness for yourself.
Yes. He\'s not mean or vindictive or angry or anything. Anything I wanted out of the house was fine. If I wanted the house. If I need anything call him. When we went through that time period of my mom dying and my dad going in to dementia, etc. He was a ROCK. That was a few years before any of this. He was tremendous. My family wanted to make him a saint. Really. When we split up, it devastated some of my family because they could not see how he could be both ways. It does make it hard. I cant get mad and/or stay mad. Another reason for NC. Its all good today. On my meds again and feeling goood.