2/3/2014
A rough morning. Remembered at the last minute last night that I have jury duty some time in February, but not sure when. Couldn't find summons, so went to courthouse this morning just in case. Turned out it's next week and they gave me another copy of the summons, so that was ok. But, that building has so many ghosts and bad memories for me.
Four years ago I was there to have my dad declared incompetent. It was not that he had any money or anything or that my sibs and I disagreed about what to do for him. It was simply that it was the only way I would be allowed to make decisions for his care. He couldn't do a power of atty because he was incompetent. In some ways it was not a big deal. He was not there and really didn't know what was going on anyway. All I really had to do was verify that the information in the papers filed was truthful. It only took a few minutes. Still....it was so very painful to do, no matter how necessary. I cried the whole time and I'm crying now as I type this.
After my divorce was final, I had to go to the clerk of court office to get certified copies so I could change my name back....I had to go twice...because the first time I burst in to tears and had to leave after she asked me what names was the divorce under....sigh. crying again.
Didn't sleep well last night, so I'm tired. I'm emotionally upset. Not sure what is going on in my new job because they really are not telling me what, if anything they want me to do. I hate training for new jobs cause it's always like that.
Weekend was a bummer. Only went out once and saw him when I did-though he did not see me. Strange how the 3 times I've seen him (and he's not seen me) that she is not with him. Probably would hurt worse if she was, but that's how it goes I guess.
I need something to boost my spirits but cannot think of what it might be. Only thing I think of is sleep because at least then he is not there (usually) and it doesn't hurt (usually).
Four years ago I was there to have my dad declared incompetent. It was not that he had any money or anything or that my sibs and I disagreed about what to do for him. It was simply that it was the only way I would be allowed to make decisions for his care. He couldn't do a power of atty because he was incompetent. In some ways it was not a big deal. He was not there and really didn't know what was going on anyway. All I really had to do was verify that the information in the papers filed was truthful. It only took a few minutes. Still....it was so very painful to do, no matter how necessary. I cried the whole time and I'm crying now as I type this.
After my divorce was final, I had to go to the clerk of court office to get certified copies so I could change my name back....I had to go twice...because the first time I burst in to tears and had to leave after she asked me what names was the divorce under....sigh. crying again.
Didn't sleep well last night, so I'm tired. I'm emotionally upset. Not sure what is going on in my new job because they really are not telling me what, if anything they want me to do. I hate training for new jobs cause it's always like that.
Weekend was a bummer. Only went out once and saw him when I did-though he did not see me. Strange how the 3 times I've seen him (and he's not seen me) that she is not with him. Probably would hurt worse if she was, but that's how it goes I guess.
I need something to boost my spirits but cannot think of what it might be. Only thing I think of is sleep because at least then he is not there (usually) and it doesn't hurt (usually).
Replies
Oh honey, hugs, first and please take it easy. We had to do the same with my father. My sister was the one to finally do it. It was for his own good.
As for that man. Just hold head up high, smile and walk away. Slowly, with that smile that says, everything. I ran into that man too, I did just that. But I had to stop myself from bursting out laughing. I cried when I was alone. You are young and have a wonderful life ahead of you. As for work, stop stressing out about it. There are other jobs that might be better for you. I would start looking for another one. Do not wait for them to pull the plug. Hugs.