Meh...One thing I think about is meeting someone new, dating, etc. But. I think I wont do that. Sometimes, I DO want to, but...I think it's not for me. I'm not good at relationships. I'm certainly not good at marriage. I don't have anything to offer anyone. I don't like to cook, clean, wash clothes, etc....Not only do I not like to, I'm not very good at any of it and I do as little as possible. When it comes to household stuff, I am as lazy as they come. 
I'm sarcastic. A bit selfish. Very much a loner. Don't like to be interrupted if I am reading, etc...I'm overweight, glasses, hearing aids, some dental issues, etc...What a winner.
The thing is..I know these things and I don't have any desire to change any of them. Well, I plan to take care of the dental issues this summer. But, the other things? I'm not changing.
Yes, I do have many good qualities. I think I never was really meant to marry. I think this is a positive thing for me to come to this realization and acceptance.



How funny many of these similar thoughts have been going through my mind recently.
I really enjoy the company of men, but I honestly don\'t know that I want to be cowtowing to someone else\'s wishes ever again. I enjoy to cook at times, but only when I am in the mood. Most of the time I love to eat huge salads with all kinds of things thrown into them.....not sure many men would be happy living like that.
I don\'t want to be hassled if my body is not in perfect shape. Also it irritates the heck out of me that men expect women to look perfect but they don\'t really care about the fact they have greying hair, and carry extra weight etc. The double standards drive me bonkers......to heck with it!!
I am changing, but only to the person I want to be. To be the best possible me that I like to live with.
I, like you do not like doing housework, and I very definitely do not intend to be anyone else\'s maid. I am even having a tough time coming around to the fact that life would be a whole lot easier finacially if I got a house mate to share the costs. I don\'t fancy the idea of someone else in my living space. Not now that I have recently come to so enjoy my freedom, and the ability to live life on my own terms.
Just please don\'t be down on yourself. It is fine if it is purely an honest acknowledgement of who we truly are. (((hugs))) Jackie

Oh I know. I\'m not really down on myself. Just an honest assessment of who I am and that I don\'t see that changing-not those aspects anyway. I\'m thinking of getting a giant teddy bear or something to have in my bed when I want to cuddle! lolol. I eat sandwiches or takeout or whatever I want or I dont eat if I dont want. I like to sleep-it\'s my favorite thing to do. Always has been. Take long baths and read in the tub. It\'s hugely empowering to admit and accept that for the most part I am better off by myself. I have friends to do things with and I do. I\'ve always been a solitary person. It\'s all good.

When I started my divorce every atty. I talked to said the chances of having another man in my life were very slim. I told them all I wasn\'t looking for the two husbands I had been married to.

I have to be careful who I let into my life. The myth in this town is if you have horses you are rich but I struggle to keep this farm.

I love to cook when I have someone to eat what I cook. I also love long baths in a tub of hot water while I read or do crossword puzzles. I don\'t like the double standards either and I see that all over this town. The overweight out of shape man with the much younger woman. I like my life the way it is right now and I\'m not changing a thing about me.