2/12/2013
It has been a while since my last entry ,,,,actually I did write one last week and when I went to correct something I hit a key that I guess I shouldn't have and everything disappeared and nothing remained or was saved ,,that has happened several times in the past ,,it would be nice if this system had a time based auto draftsave function as some other sites do,,,but it doesn't and ya just got to be a bit more careful I guess.
Well the 2 cats are doing just fine,,,dante and daisy are getting used to the monstrosity in the living room,,,not sure that I am though,,,I can get used to anything after a time.
I seem to continue to ponder the future ,,,and come up kinda short of what to do with myself,,,and it is frustrating ,,I have fallen into a bad pattern of late ,,one that I knew might come and have little sense how to get beyond it ,,,I have allowed myself the luxury of having little to do and as time goes on less willingness to do something about that condition,,,I find that I am very late getting to sleep,,that is falling off to sleep and very late in getting up ,,usually if I am able late morning ,,but it seems now much of the time ,,,well into the mid-afternoon,,,,,now many would envy this life ,,for me it is a trap and nothing to gloat over or be thrilled about ,,,
In my working career ,,I have held jobs for periods of time only to be let go after a time, fired, or in rare instances have up and quit,,,I am from a line of people who worked one job for a huge period of time 25 or 30 years plus at one job with advancements ,,,etc,,,I have never had that in my life ,,though I did manage to last about 9 years at one job,,usually there have been a series of 4 years and out sometimes 2 or 3,,then I was slammed,,,so I came away feeling very much less than,,,for having not worked a consistant time at a consistant job,,,,,that has always bugged me ,,,my father worked in the Navy non-military for nearly 40 plus years ,,,before he retired ,,and he began to slowly deteriorate ,,though he was or tried to get into things to keep him active and in hindsight,,he was far more successful at it than I am,,he retired at 65 ,,I retired at 62,,he went out on his own terms,,where I was forced out by circumstances (the current economy we are all currently aware of ).
I continue to go to AA meeting at 5:30p though at a different venue now ,,,and continue to do my class at BOC ,,but haven't in the past 3 weeks or so due to having the flu,,this is the first week I am going to return this Thursday,,,
Well the 2 cats are doing just fine,,,dante and daisy are getting used to the monstrosity in the living room,,,not sure that I am though,,,I can get used to anything after a time.
I seem to continue to ponder the future ,,,and come up kinda short of what to do with myself,,,and it is frustrating ,,I have fallen into a bad pattern of late ,,one that I knew might come and have little sense how to get beyond it ,,,I have allowed myself the luxury of having little to do and as time goes on less willingness to do something about that condition,,,I find that I am very late getting to sleep,,that is falling off to sleep and very late in getting up ,,usually if I am able late morning ,,but it seems now much of the time ,,,well into the mid-afternoon,,,,,now many would envy this life ,,for me it is a trap and nothing to gloat over or be thrilled about ,,,
In my working career ,,I have held jobs for periods of time only to be let go after a time, fired, or in rare instances have up and quit,,,I am from a line of people who worked one job for a huge period of time 25 or 30 years plus at one job with advancements ,,,etc,,,I have never had that in my life ,,though I did manage to last about 9 years at one job,,usually there have been a series of 4 years and out sometimes 2 or 3,,then I was slammed,,,so I came away feeling very much less than,,,for having not worked a consistant time at a consistant job,,,,,that has always bugged me ,,,my father worked in the Navy non-military for nearly 40 plus years ,,,before he retired ,,and he began to slowly deteriorate ,,though he was or tried to get into things to keep him active and in hindsight,,he was far more successful at it than I am,,he retired at 65 ,,I retired at 62,,he went out on his own terms,,where I was forced out by circumstances (the current economy we are all currently aware of ).
I continue to go to AA meeting at 5:30p though at a different venue now ,,,and continue to do my class at BOC ,,but haven't in the past 3 weeks or so due to having the flu,,this is the first week I am going to return this Thursday,,,
Replies
That sucks that you wrote out a journal and it disappeared. I\'ve done that a couple of times and it\'s frustrating. I sometimes ponder the future also. You will have to get out of your pattern that you have been having with sleep. Maybe try to get into a routine. I\'ve not always had much luck with work. I worked somewhere for seven years and that was it. I\'m looking for employment now and it\'s hard out there. It\'s very good that you are going to AA meetings. I\'m sorry you had the flu. You will get through this. It just takes some work. Hugs
Hi there. Having the luxury of time does sound nice..but I do understand. When I was working 15 hours per week, I would stay up late or go out sometimes mid week and drink and sleep late and stay in bed depressed, not good. Have to keep the good habit momentum going...but you can cut yourself some slack considering you had the flu.
Regarding your family and father, times aren\'t like that anymore..and I suspect that you are a young 60 something. Cutting edge if you will, ha.
Now make sure you put your night goggles on when u get up to pee so you don\'t crash into the cat condo.
I hope you can get back on a regimen and feel better. Glad you\'re going back to meeting. Talk soon.