2:11 am ......late night babble
i was gonna say i have all the concentration of a tick. but that's probably an insult to ticks. i can't focus.
call me driftwood.
amoeba. or pocket lint.
reader's digest cheered me up today. used up my energy reading & ruminating.
thoughts like the ways navy seals work on mental toughness.......which includes positivity. the article says they identify and quash a negative mindset by asking one simple question:
Am I feeding the fear dog or the courage dog?
They recommend that you do this throughout the day to channel negativity thinking into can-do-energy.
always need to keep looking for fresh inspiration when it comes to the can-do of it all............a long time ago someone told me that you have to imagine yourself at home plate..........the pitch is coming at ya........it's a giant CAN"T ball
............so ya take the bat and knock the T off.............watch it fly way way out there.........................that's right --- knock the T off the word can't and whaddya got?
C A N
as in yes you CAN. using tools like prayer, rest, practice, patience, determination.......diligence. practical tools like shower chairs, canes, walkers, safety bars, and much much more.
be who you are today - live this moment......just this one moment. when we do that we are brilliant.
all these thoughts.........read a new DS friends journal - loved it!. she shared that she often got overtaken with negative thinking at night. so she decided she would a lot more time throughout her day for thinking...........about all things. (forgive me i'm not paraphrasing well, but it really did impress me) i picked a tough day to start, but that's ok, sometimes you just need to start right where you are to get where you wanna go.........
what is lower than pocket lint? the last sentence of that last paragraph sounded goooooooofy.
glad i got leaky eye syndrome temporarily behind me..........xoxo.
---- then somebody was talking about how we need to turn off all the distractions so we can embrace our emotions. to let the tears flow as they may.........to experience the richness of joy when it comes.......to just get lost doing your own thing for a while ain't all bad either. we don't have to be plugged into technology 31/7.........don't ask, it makes sense to me........sitting here in the fog late at night.
i don't want to lose empathy, compassion.........lose awareness of others, or manners or the ability to connect one on one. i'm not anti technology...........way back when, the whole world was waiting breathlessly for the storytellers to come to the villages and tell their tales........and then someone came along and invented parchment.....or was it called papyrus first?
.....don't pin me down on the chilly night for scrambling historical facts........cause i got nothin', just this need to tuck the world in before going off to bed.........and a love of handing out hugs.
can i tell you a secret dream i've had for a long time? i wish i could be a foster mother. i've had this feeling for forever........but when i got sick i tamped it down with a lot of other dreams. and then today i saw Rhea Perlman talking about the great need for foster parents..........especially for the older kids......and then she spoke specifically about the 18 year olds.........who are on their own, very little net to catch them........and precious limited resources. i wish i could fill one of those empty rooms upstairs with more that a wish........but an actual ...........................i know i'm too sick to take on kids that need a well parent, but maybe an older kid.......an 18 year old who goes to school? ........this is just me talking though my hat late at night. i'm as old as georgia dirt.........but the wish, that dream never completely dies. ........and then i read about a woman who adopted a child the same year she turned 51. i'm 5 weeks away from being 7 years older than that new mom........and yeah, okay so a thousand times sicker than the average woman but a dream is a dream is a dream.
maybe the foster people could use some foster grannies?
do you have any secret dreams like that? of course to have cures for illness.....but also other dreams you always wanted to go for, but didn't feel like you could even say it out loud?
gonna close now.........seriously cannot get it together - need to fall down on the bed and not move or talk for hours with my eyelids down. do not try to look for me.......sara used to do that when she was a toddler. little sara would climb up on the bed early in the morning, stick one tiny little finger in my eye to push the lid UP.......peer at me very intently and shout "ARE YOU IN THERE?"
call me driftwood.
amoeba. or pocket lint.
reader's digest cheered me up today. used up my energy reading & ruminating.
thoughts like the ways navy seals work on mental toughness.......which includes positivity. the article says they identify and quash a negative mindset by asking one simple question:
Am I feeding the fear dog or the courage dog?
They recommend that you do this throughout the day to channel negativity thinking into can-do-energy.
always need to keep looking for fresh inspiration when it comes to the can-do of it all............a long time ago someone told me that you have to imagine yourself at home plate..........the pitch is coming at ya........it's a giant CAN"T ball
............so ya take the bat and knock the T off.............watch it fly way way out there.........................that's right --- knock the T off the word can't and whaddya got?
C A N
as in yes you CAN. using tools like prayer, rest, practice, patience, determination.......diligence. practical tools like shower chairs, canes, walkers, safety bars, and much much more.
be who you are today - live this moment......just this one moment. when we do that we are brilliant.
all these thoughts.........read a new DS friends journal - loved it!. she shared that she often got overtaken with negative thinking at night. so she decided she would a lot more time throughout her day for thinking...........about all things. (forgive me i'm not paraphrasing well, but it really did impress me) i picked a tough day to start, but that's ok, sometimes you just need to start right where you are to get where you wanna go.........
what is lower than pocket lint? the last sentence of that last paragraph sounded goooooooofy.
glad i got leaky eye syndrome temporarily behind me..........xoxo.
---- then somebody was talking about how we need to turn off all the distractions so we can embrace our emotions. to let the tears flow as they may.........to experience the richness of joy when it comes.......to just get lost doing your own thing for a while ain't all bad either. we don't have to be plugged into technology 31/7.........don't ask, it makes sense to me........sitting here in the fog late at night.
i don't want to lose empathy, compassion.........lose awareness of others, or manners or the ability to connect one on one. i'm not anti technology...........way back when, the whole world was waiting breathlessly for the storytellers to come to the villages and tell their tales........and then someone came along and invented parchment.....or was it called papyrus first?
.....don't pin me down on the chilly night for scrambling historical facts........cause i got nothin', just this need to tuck the world in before going off to bed.........and a love of handing out hugs.
can i tell you a secret dream i've had for a long time? i wish i could be a foster mother. i've had this feeling for forever........but when i got sick i tamped it down with a lot of other dreams. and then today i saw Rhea Perlman talking about the great need for foster parents..........especially for the older kids......and then she spoke specifically about the 18 year olds.........who are on their own, very little net to catch them........and precious limited resources. i wish i could fill one of those empty rooms upstairs with more that a wish........but an actual ...........................i know i'm too sick to take on kids that need a well parent, but maybe an older kid.......an 18 year old who goes to school? ........this is just me talking though my hat late at night. i'm as old as georgia dirt.........but the wish, that dream never completely dies. ........and then i read about a woman who adopted a child the same year she turned 51. i'm 5 weeks away from being 7 years older than that new mom........and yeah, okay so a thousand times sicker than the average woman but a dream is a dream is a dream.
maybe the foster people could use some foster grannies?
do you have any secret dreams like that? of course to have cures for illness.....but also other dreams you always wanted to go for, but didn't feel like you could even say it out loud?
gonna close now.........seriously cannot get it together - need to fall down on the bed and not move or talk for hours with my eyelids down. do not try to look for me.......sara used to do that when she was a toddler. little sara would climb up on the bed early in the morning, stick one tiny little finger in my eye to push the lid UP.......peer at me very intently and shout "ARE YOU IN THERE?"
Replies
If you had a foster child in your home.....at the age of seventeen or eighteen, they would just be so happy to have a place called home, and a sweet lady to come home to, they would be thrilled. They would run errands for you, and keep you company, and learn to love you and want to help. I don\'t know. That idea sure struck a chord with me. I always wonder what I would do if I lost Bobby. I\'d surely want someone living here with me. Someone who would put me and my needs on some sort of priority list. The last thing I would want is some yappy, selfish, inconsiderate-type roomy! I realize this is going to be a problem. I do not want to live alone. Absolutely not. I\'m 64 years old and very unwell and realize how many times I get stuck up here on the second floor and cannot traverse the steps. It would terrify me to know that when I wake up at four, in pain and scared that no one else was in this house. I know the good Lord knows our needs, Ruthie. Maybe there is someone waiting to be in your house with you....who could help you get to the store and the mailbox....and keep you company and yet give you the space you\'re used to having.
I would put that to prayer. xo
Maybe you could be a big sister, a mentor. Do they have a Big Brother/Big Sister program in MONGA? Would your son be accepting and participate?
Some friends of mine tried foster parenting and wound up adopting 4 special needs children. I do admire them, but they have their work cut out for them, not only now, but in the years, decades, ahead. They have a good family network nearby for much needed help!
Oh yeah, ticks.....I know about those little boogers.....lots of first hand experience. They never, ever, under any circumstances give up. Maybe we should be like them, sort of.........
I think it\'s a great dream. My husband has worked with kids for 20 years who\'ve been removed from their homes. I think most of them would be very glad for a foster mom like you who could provide a warm home and warm hugs.
A long long time ago, actually 20 yrs ago, my son attended a private christian school where they ran a homestay program for Japanese students.One of my sons Japanese friends from school was very unhappy with his homestay family, and begged us to take him in.We explained we had no room for him, but with tears in his eyes , he said he could sleep on our veranda outside.Apparently his homestay family were quite cold and impersonal towards him.His name was Yuji.So we built an extra room for him and he stayed for two years.We were never paid any homestay money, we were a little naive with the process, and didn\'t realize we had been ripped off until many years later.Of course for us at the time, it was all about rescuing Yuji.I was bedridden up to 6wks at a time in those days, and darling Yuji was very accepting.My husband and I have often discussed taking in foster children, there is a huge demand here also.So many sad cases, just breaks your heart.Unfortunately we are much older and have too many struggles within our own family.If I could get well I would love to help foster children.You would be a great foster mum, Ruthie, but you are not well enough.Although...maybe an older teenager would be grateful for a home and happy to support you in exchange.It would have to be someone pretty special..Hey Ruthie! Only 58? You are just a little spring chicken. Or should I say a little winter \"sparrow\" !! Xoxo