2/1/2014
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get over him. If there will ever be a time when I don't shed tears over him. Will I ever stop missing him? If there will ever be a time when he doesnt cross my mind every single day. Two years and counting...
And I've reached a point where I'm tired of trying. Tired of trying to find other things to occupy my time and my mind. Tired of making myself go out and do things instead of moping and hibernating. Tired of trying to push him out of my mind and heart.
I don't want to travel this road anymore. It seems pointless to keep trying to move forward. I'm really really tired of feeling this way. No matter how hard I try, I always end up back in this rabbit hole. It's getting harder and harder to make the effort to get out.
And I've reached a point where I'm tired of trying. Tired of trying to find other things to occupy my time and my mind. Tired of making myself go out and do things instead of moping and hibernating. Tired of trying to push him out of my mind and heart.
I don't want to travel this road anymore. It seems pointless to keep trying to move forward. I'm really really tired of feeling this way. No matter how hard I try, I always end up back in this rabbit hole. It's getting harder and harder to make the effort to get out.
Replies
Honey, You are being so hard on yourself. You have to be gentle and caring with yourself. It is hard, very much so, but it will happen. One day you will realize that you are crying less and less. It took me over three years just to stop trying to flood the place. It takes time, they say one year for every 5 yrs of marriage. hugs
Thanks. It\'s true, I do cry less and it doesnt hurt as much. I get to a point where I think YAY! I\'m over him. Then POW, here it comes again...
that is what we call the rollercoaster ride, up one minute, crashing down the next. You have to realize it is not your fault. Do not take ownership of his failures. I did, and it got me nowhere. But those down times will start to get further apart. Above all else, be kind to yourself
You are right. I dont blame myself anymore. It was both of us. And it is better than it was 2 years ago...