1st Trip Without Her

Last night I drove to Atlantic City NJ to go to the Casino.  I booked a room for 2 days.  The room is an Ocean View.  I came down because this is where we used to come together when we needed a get-away.  I was perfectly fine until I pulled up to the Casino.  Once I got there I couldn't control my emotions all I broke down thinking to myself I can't believe I will be making these trips without her.  What's even worst is I realized she would be making these trips without me.
I now understand that this was her way of living long before I met her, but all the consolation in the world from others can't seem to remove the pain.  I often ask myself what I could have done different but everyone tells me I could not have done anything different.  Her Best friends tell me to start my life without her and never let her back in my life to hurt me again.  I have stopped reaching out to her but it still hurts like hell.
I look forward to the day that I can understand how I loved someone who gave me so little in return.