DREAMS

So, last night I had a dream that my son Ralph was telling me that my X's family was going to kill me and that I needed to watch out for them. I really need to work on my own guilt surrounding my husband's suicide and my son's overdose. I loved my x husband, but his moods were so out of control. I have guilt about filing for separation from him and that he immediately killed himself. He went into the car with a "grill" subsequently lit it and passed away of carbon monoxide poisoning. It was horrible for all of us. I have empathy for him because he was mentally ill with bipolar disorder. I never blamed him, but my guilt is insurmountable. Then just 3 years later, Ralph accidentally overdoses.  I've been dreaming of Ralph so much lately. He is constantly in my dreams, and like last night it was a nightmare. Just venting, it helps. Love everyone here so much!
Chris

Replies

annsullivan
annsullivan

{{{HUGS}}}
PaulaLy
PaulaLy

Hoping you are able to find some peace soon. Hugs, Paula
changa99337
changa99337

Pray for your ex and your son. U probably already do that and I don\'t neec to tell u. I am Catholic and I pray a Rosary for my son, that his soul be in peace.
babiboismom
babiboismom

I so understand the guilt....I struggle with it too. I pray that we can find peace. I\'m wrapping my arms around you extra tight today Chris.
Love, Vicki
marissasmom
marissasmom

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I understand your feelings of guilt, but It was NOT your fault, I am sure you did what was best for you and your sons at the time. My ex husbands family sounds so much like yours, placing blame on others, you could not have controlled your ex husbands actions just as I am sure they couldnt. I am so sorry you are going through all of this on top of grieving your precious Ralph. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

XOXO
Angie
laurim45
laurim45

I understand the guilt..I hope it can get lighter over time. It is the worst legacy of suicide.
MomofJosh
MomofJosh

I am praying for you to be eased of this pain and of these dreams. Your guilt is compounded by all of the circumstances, but be as gentle as you can with yourself, dear Chris!
sadinreno
sadinreno

Thank you all so much for your thoughts. This is a long long journey of so many feelings that cannot be described or understood by people who haven\'t experienced this...All of the support is so needed and appreciated.
Love you all!!
Chris