Changes
Wow, T is powerful.
Ok, things are changing even faster now, the longer I have been on T.
I can no longer hit the higher notes I used to when singing. BUT, I can hit notes a LOT lower than I used to, without any effort.
My libido has grown beyond anything I ever imagined. Now, almost anything I think or hear, or see has me trying to ignore unintended sexual innuendos.
What used to be called my clit is now getting longer. At first, I thought I was imagining that, tried to write it off as "Oh, I've lost weight, that's why it seems longer, there's less fat in the way."; or denying it could be real; but now I know it IS. I know, I know, that's part of what T does, it makes that area grow and change. But this fast? Less than six months in, and almost TWICE as long as before?
On a different note, I FINALLY got my name change legally completed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That should have gone quicker; but without money to hire a lawyer to do it for me, I had to deal with it on my own - and the law's changed, and the clerk of court kept "discovering" more things that I needed to do - even after repeatedly telling me to my face that I had correctly completed all the paperwork! So, months after I began the name-change process, it's DONE!!
Next steps, the Social Security office, and then on to the DMV.
Small steps; but getting there.
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... what else?
My best friend, who is bi, and WAS trying to get me into a relationship despite my expressed desire NOT to, has found someone new - to which I say Horrayyyy!!!!! She's got someone to make her happy, and now she can let me be in peace. I no longer need worry how my lack of being attracted to her will affect her - she's moved on! We're still friends, and now she can go be happy, and let me be happy, too.
She was a little bothered that I was happy for her, instead of being upset. But given I have been honest about my feelings with her, and that I AM happy for her, I can't really understand why my reaction bothered her. I care about her, so I want her to be happy - and at the same time, I want ME to be happy too, .... So, I am - happy she's found someone, and happy she's let go of me.
I'm just relieved that she has someone now; and that she won't keep after me. Sounds selfish, and maybe it is. But she's quit chasing after me, and found a new person to be with - which is what I wanted for her all along. She's a wonderful person, a great friend, but I just am not attracted to her the way she has been to me. So, this is a great thing. Yeah!!!
And.... Just a FYI here - T doesn't make guys think of sex every 15 seconds, it makes them think of NOTHING BUT sex, all the time. It isn't the guy's fault, it's just what T does.
Can't go out for fear I'll loose it and start reaching out, zombie-like, chanting "Boobies! Boobies!" and drooling.
It may sound funny, but it's true - a real problem I'm having to adapt to. A serious challenge.
I go back to the endocrinologist on the 6th(Feb.); maybe he can offer suggestions beyond my brother's "You get used to it."
Seriously, how does any guy get anything done?
I've joined another support group - a local transmen group - and have been talking to them finding they have also been adjusting to this challenge.
Ok, things are changing even faster now, the longer I have been on T.
I can no longer hit the higher notes I used to when singing. BUT, I can hit notes a LOT lower than I used to, without any effort.
My libido has grown beyond anything I ever imagined. Now, almost anything I think or hear, or see has me trying to ignore unintended sexual innuendos.
What used to be called my clit is now getting longer. At first, I thought I was imagining that, tried to write it off as "Oh, I've lost weight, that's why it seems longer, there's less fat in the way."; or denying it could be real; but now I know it IS. I know, I know, that's part of what T does, it makes that area grow and change. But this fast? Less than six months in, and almost TWICE as long as before?
On a different note, I FINALLY got my name change legally completed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That should have gone quicker; but without money to hire a lawyer to do it for me, I had to deal with it on my own - and the law's changed, and the clerk of court kept "discovering" more things that I needed to do - even after repeatedly telling me to my face that I had correctly completed all the paperwork! So, months after I began the name-change process, it's DONE!!
Next steps, the Social Security office, and then on to the DMV.
Small steps; but getting there.
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... what else?
My best friend, who is bi, and WAS trying to get me into a relationship despite my expressed desire NOT to, has found someone new - to which I say Horrayyyy!!!!! She's got someone to make her happy, and now she can let me be in peace. I no longer need worry how my lack of being attracted to her will affect her - she's moved on! We're still friends, and now she can go be happy, and let me be happy, too.
She was a little bothered that I was happy for her, instead of being upset. But given I have been honest about my feelings with her, and that I AM happy for her, I can't really understand why my reaction bothered her. I care about her, so I want her to be happy - and at the same time, I want ME to be happy too, .... So, I am - happy she's found someone, and happy she's let go of me.
I'm just relieved that she has someone now; and that she won't keep after me. Sounds selfish, and maybe it is. But she's quit chasing after me, and found a new person to be with - which is what I wanted for her all along. She's a wonderful person, a great friend, but I just am not attracted to her the way she has been to me. So, this is a great thing. Yeah!!!
And.... Just a FYI here - T doesn't make guys think of sex every 15 seconds, it makes them think of NOTHING BUT sex, all the time. It isn't the guy's fault, it's just what T does.
Can't go out for fear I'll loose it and start reaching out, zombie-like, chanting "Boobies! Boobies!" and drooling.
It may sound funny, but it's true - a real problem I'm having to adapt to. A serious challenge.
I go back to the endocrinologist on the 6th(Feb.); maybe he can offer suggestions beyond my brother's "You get used to it."
Seriously, how does any guy get anything done?
I've joined another support group - a local transmen group - and have been talking to them finding they have also been adjusting to this challenge.
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