Saturday
It is Saturday and I am having some anxiety,do not really know why,tried to go out a little the sun was out. Every day seems to be different ,I love my friends here they kept me going today, makes my day. I watched a movie last night ,it was the life of John Lennon when he was young, His mother ended up dieing and he was sad and said she never coming back ,tore me up. I don't even want to go into that it is to much. I wish i had interesting things to say but my life is boring I am afraid. If it was not for TV I don't know what I do. I have to admit I like scary movies,my counselor said it's because it is worse then my life and keeps my mind busy, I get brain fog some time and can not think straight,I feel like I am rambling so I will end here.
Replies
A rambling, brain fog time of it - oh, I know that place well.
I can\'t handle anything as entertainment unless it has a happy ending and can make me feel hopeful and positive about life. I suppose it is because real life has been anything but that for these past nine years now.
I think that we are surviving is pretty \'interesting\'. So many of us talk about surviving and it works - we keep on keeping on - somehow - together. I have another friend that is going through some horrible times and she is into Steven King. I think for the same reason you share. I\'ve had enough scary in my life without seeking it out. I do whatever I can to neutralize it so I can feel hopeful and have some happiness even if it is only in watching a happy movie.
Yes, that we have DS to share is literally saving my life as I know it has so many others here. Truly amazing!!!
Gentle ((hugs)) and hoping life improves soon.
:-) Patricia
Wishing you a gentle week my friend. I cannot watch scary movies and never could even as a child. Just me I guess... whatever can take our minds away for a few moments works... I am glad that you feel supported and cared for here. Hugs this day! Joanie
You are not rambling, sharing you day with us is what this is all about. It\'s so hard to get me motivated to do things sometimes. I have so much that should do and so little I want to do. Sending you love Shirley, have a good Monday. Terry
hi shirley DS been playing up, sorry to hear about your saturday i do sympathise and your never boring im feeling highly anxious too so were in the same boat and also find TV a distraction not a lot else went into the city today dont know how i did it my hearts pounding like mad anyway this is not about me, i just want you to know im thinking of you and praying you are feeling a bit better im here if you need me love to you, susan
Hi Shirley, sorry to hear you were having a rough day and were having anxiety, Lots of hugs to you.
Your journal reminds me of how much we change because of this new sadness in our lives. Yes, I have felt that I am just a nothing person now. I have felt like I really don\'t do anything and I don\'t even want to. When I measure myself against other people, my friends and family, I feel very lacking. But, I am realizing that, I don\'t need to measure myself against anyone else and I can and will live my life my way. I love TV now too. I think it is an escape and it is easy and I can just vegetate when I am in front of the TV. I can\'t watch scary things though...I never could! If it is any help...just in the past few weeks I am feeling better and I have more energy. It is like my mind has become more free to actually think about the present moment and my life as it is now. Greg\'s third Angel date is coming this Feb. and this is the first time in a long, long time that I feel more like my old self...a different old self but, still, I feel like a real person again. It is good but also painful....I think we are all in for many Saturdays like the one you just had but...little by little things change. Give yourself time and be gentle with yourself. Love and Hugs, Anne