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July 1, 2009 (LATE!)  I don't really know how I feel today.  I was looking at so many of my DS friends profiles only to find they have gone (from the site) or not written for a long, long, time.  It made me sad, and yet, I hope it means they are doing very well.  So many of these people were there for me at the beginning.  I will never, even if I never "chat" with them again, forget the difference they made in my life. Now, as for others that are still here, and still support me, please DO NOT ever leave without sending me an email.  My regular address is gkstarr50@sbcglobal.net  Okay...I am going out on a limb posting that.  However, you are THAT important to me.  I know that I do not always comment on your journals or send hugs.  However, I do read journals quite often.  I just, sometimes, don't have the energy to type.  Please don't take that the wrong way.  I want to,  I even start, and then stop.  I do that with my journals, too.  I just, sometimes, feel like my fingers won't work with my brain.  Or, my heart is just too heavy. Now, for today...I am proud of myself!  I actually made curtains!  I hate sewing!  And yet, there I was, at my Grandma's old Singer, sewing my heart out!  It is the old black machine that goes only one direction!  This was one of my goals for the summer.  I needed to make these curtains for my back door.  The sun is so intense in the evening.....those beautiful sunsets I post....that is to the West, which is where my back door is.   I even lined them!  Okay...my hems are a bit crooked!  Whatever..... lol Tomorrow I am going to try and sew a cover for my food processer. (I actually measured it!)  That should be interesting!  I have a bit of left over material.  It is Coke!  My kitchen is decorated that way.  That is what I made the curtains from....all American "tacky"!  Actually, I was drawn to Coke "stuff" because of the red.  It just kind of went on from there....now, it is sort of an obsession.  Whatever, whatever..... Lately, I have been staying up way too late!  Then, I sleep half the day away.  I really need to change this habit...any suggestions?!??!  It is just the quiet of the night is so nice!!! Oh....perhaps sweet justice....the company that wants to buy our building/property, in Springfield, is the company that fired me one week after Scott's death.  Oh...you cannot imagine how much I want this, for so many reasons!  If, in fact, they do buy it, I will contact a friend who still works there, and make sure, after the check clears, "the powers that be", know who they purchased from.  It will be so sweet...so pure.  They were so awful and so full of themselves.  I would really enjoy taking their money!  (Trust me....this is a company you all know...they have plenty!)   Ahh....the mean side of me is rearing it's ugly head.  Sorry.  Mostly I am nice....really.  But this company, and so many that work there, are truly evil!  They are ALL about the money and fired so many good people, not ever looking back! Okay...I am finished rambling...time for bed.     

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

You are the one who first wrote on my journal, so I\'m glad you\'re still here! Mind you i think somehow we will keep in touch forever now. Well done on the curtains! I\'m not fond of sewing either! I don\'t blame you for hoping that company buy your property. It will be sweet justice. Hugs, Charlotte.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I think your journal is so sweet and I wish I could sew that is great that you made curtains and no matter if the hem is a bit crooked you can know you made them and as for the coke theme I love it! You do what ever u can each day to try to get by to live and survive and maybe feel a moment of peace and hope and even joy.that is all we can do. As for your old company I am so sorry they fired you after the loss of your son I hope you get their money! Stay well and know there are many here who read jornals cry,pray,and think of eachother even if we can\'t type so you are in good company much love to you and hugs Kate
jfm24
jfm24

Your one of the first person I met after justin died.Your such a sweet and giving person you helped me alot and still do.Hope you have a Happy 4th.Keep up that sewing it may become obession.Love and Hugs
biowoman
biowoman

Sewing...impressive! Good for you and when I do something kinda different like that...it makes me feel good...I hope you did :) BTW...not planning on going anywhere...I would miss you and all too much. Love to you...Karen
deleted_user
deleted_user

Good for you!! I am not a sewer, either, but when I was pregnant with Jamie, I made all my maternity clothes on a treadle machine!! I love the idea of \"Coke\" stuff!!--Maybe it is in the wind, because lately, my obsession is with Roosters, and I am planning to decorate my new place with rooster things. (love that red!) Hope this sale goes through for you, payback is a (you-know-what) haha! Love to you, Judy
BinkyH
BinkyH

I have wondered if there will come a time when I no longer need the support of this group like I do now. Strange, isn\'t it? It is sad why we first come here but glad to find it. If and when we no longer need it, it will be the reverse. Sad to leave but glad we no longer need to be here. Good for you on making the curtains. It gives you a sense of accomplishment and such a personal touch to your home. I still remember the curtains that I made for my boy\'s bedrooms. They were made out of a sheet that had cartoon characters on them. I learned to sew on an old treadle machine. I have always been a \"night owl\" by nature and when I didn\'t work, I did the same thing that you are doing. I too, love the quiet of the night. If you want to change it around, I always did it one of two ways. Either go to bed an hour earlier every night until you get where you want to be or force yourself to get through a day dead tired without having gotten enough sleep. Sleeping in too late is a habit and can be a problem when you do have to get up for things. Good luck on that. And also with the sale of your property! I hope it works out for you. Hugs, Belinda
deleted_user
deleted_user

I wrote down your email address in my addressbook. I am not adding any new friendss, except the ones who are parents of kids who OD or suicides. I have overloaded myself so I do not have tome to answer everyone like I feel I should. I also stay up all night, and then sleep from about 4:30 AM to 6:30. If I am real lucky I sleep 4 hours. It is a big problem for me. I consider you one of the people I need to keep talking to. I relate to you and we can help each other, just by what we share. Love.Peggy oh my address is grndmudder@aol.com
deleted_user
deleted_user

Wow sewing now that\'s pretty darn good, regardless of what time of day you do it. The old saying \"Living well is the best revenge\" we can modify \" Living well on their money is the best revenge\' It\'s still okay to dislike people. places and things and still be nice. You are just going to have to go to bed late and get up real early for a couple of days and you\'ll get your schedule back. Expect a couple of really tired days. Please continue to just be there, I would so miss you if you left. Love and hugs Cathy
Robin4
Robin4

Wow, you sound very ambitious. I have a stack of sewing or I should say mending but the truth is, I\'m not too familar with my sewing machine (lol). I\'m not going anywhere either. This place is my life line. I\'ve met too many wonderful women (you included) that are able to understand the new me. Hoping the sale goes through on your building. Love to you. Robin
deleted_user
deleted_user

I will always be here. This website and all of you have been a source of strength for me, and I know there will be many others joining (sadly) that will need us in their time too. I\'m not going anywhere. Hugs, Julia