WOW!
3-13-09: It has been a while since I have written a journal,although I have been reading other's. I have been busy, sick, busy! A lot has/is happening these days. I stepped totally out of "my box" on the 27th of February. I joined the Springfield Writer's Guild and attended my first meeting. A co-worker was supposed to go and didn't. So, I almost chickened out! It was snowing that day, I didn't want to go alone. I could've come up with a zillion excuses. But, I just sucked it up, endured the weather, and went alone. I am, however, acquainted with another member so it wasn't like I was totally "alone". I actually enjoyed it. And, I learned a new thing or two, met a neighbor who belongs, and felt like this was something associated with living. I was very proud of myself for going! On the 3rd of March my husband and I recognized our 25th wedding anniversary! That is a big deal. On the 7th of March, we celebrated! A lot! We had about eighteen guests who we have absolute trust in. (Meaning they get my/our, ups/downs.) Most have been friends for many, many years. Chris and Adam also attended. I had the party at my house. Food, drink, fun, and fellowship! We requested NO GIFTS! However, a few friends did not pay attention. We received a gift certificate to Applebee's, a gift bag of some neat "stuff", and a few bottles of wine and champagne. Very sweet! We even, eventually, moved the party to the garage and danced until four in the morning! (My garage is very large and has a wood stove.) I am too old to party like that, but I have to say, I did have fun. (The next day...not so much! lol) It was too funny...a couple of my friends and I decided to put together a DooWop routine....we were not very good but had fun, anyway. I was sick a couple of days that week...just can't get over this croup! This week the other para in our class has it and has missed three days....hope he is better soon! Today, we went to the circus with our class. It was a lot of fun! The kids were totally engrossed in the program. We do have one boy who is more behavioral than autistic. He did fairly well, but there were a few definate "moments." My computer crashed the other day. I had to do a total restore on it. I lost everything. I even lost all of my book work. That stinks! The one day I didn't print what I had done! Now, I have to go back and re-do about three hours of work! I hope to have the book done by the end of March. My spring break is March 23-27. Including weekends, I will have nine days off. I want to finish it then! It has been a very painful project but I hope it brings some hope, guidance, and understanding to someone else who, sadly, finds themselves in my shoes. The past couple of days have been really hard for me. I have been having flashbacks about the day I found Scott. I guess they will always come and go. I have been dreaming of him, when I finally do sleep. They are not "visiting" dreams. Just dreams of the horror. And during the day I find myself tearing up. I even did that at the circus, today. We took our kids to the circus nearly every year, for about fifteen years! I want to scream to all the parents, "Please embrace these moments!" But, I just look around and remain silent. I want every parent to realize the joy of every moment. However, I do not want them to ever think about the unthinkable! Still...so much confusion! So, here I am with a weekend! YEA! I am tired. My big plans this weekend include doing the laundry I did not do last weekend. I have done a couple of loads this week, but, they have been patiently waiting to be folded. I just didn't have it in me! That just seemed like a lot of work. Please check out the anniversary photos I have posted. I have even gone out on a limb and embarressed myself! LOL
Replies
You sound good. Even with the emotional ups and downs it\'s easy to tell you are moving in the right direction and that is wonderful. I hope you do make the time to finish your book by the end of the month. Maybe when it\'s done it will bring you a bit of peace as well. Hope you get over that croupy thing soon! Lots of love and hugs to you, my friend. Adrianne
Hello from Alabama. I do not rememer me. I also lost my 18-yesr old son in an accident. I have also lost a grandson a birth. He had no brain. I can honestly say I know how you feel for I feel the same way.
It seems like it was still yesterday when he died. I can remember every moment and the I begin to cry. They say men are not supposed to cry. They think you are weak. It takes strentgh and courage to let it out crying. And when I cry, it is full-blown.
I am like you again. I do not want to leave my safe place called home. On really bad days I stay in bed and sleep to escape all those memories.
My dear wife mentioned to me in 13 years we have been married she only remember very few times when I laughed. I do not believe I have the right to laugh or enjoy life again. After 17 years I am still in grive. I have passed the anger cycle but I cannot come to acceptance.
Again like you my wife when she goes to work will ask me to do little things around the house such as fold clothes, empty the garbarge or clean out the dishwasher, For me any one of these would take 15 to 3o minutes to do but like you they seen like mountains.
Can I share one verse of scripture that might enourage you or give you hope for today:
Psalms:54:2: Hear my prayer, O God; give ear to the words of my mouth.
Most people find it strange that I cannot come to acceptance because I am an es-minister. I do not try to preach at people but maybe share a verse from the Bible with them.
By God\'s Grace
Roger
You have been a busy girl. Congrats on the wedding anniversary. That\'s a lot to say in this day and age and especially after a loss. I\'m happy you stepped outside your box and went to your writers guild. We really can amaze ourselves at what we can do when we just put that one foot in front of the other. I look forward to reading something from you so be sure and post. I\'m so happy and proud of you. The flashbacks will come again I\'m sure and so will the confusion, we just have to learn that is part of our lives now. Hopefully in the future they won\'t be as intense and you can focus more on the good times. Love to you friend. Robin
You have been busy girl. Congrats on the wedding anniversary. I will have one in Nov & it will # 40, with the same man, LOL. Now adays that is almost a miracle. Have a good weekend & hope to see you next month...Hugs, Connie
So glad that you went to the writers guild thingy...that is wonderful! I definitely see that as a positive for you! Keep plodding along...even with the flashbacks or sadness...we have to and I think you are doing great. Love to you...Karen
Congratulations on the anniversary. Glad you had a good time with family and friends. The pictures are great !! Good luck with the writing. Sending you a hug, Kim
Congratulations are in order for both your 25 years of marriage, and for attending your wrighters meeting. You did good! I am so sorry you are having the flashbacks of Scott. Do not think you are alone. I know many of us have these awful images in our sleep and in our waking hours as well. I don\'t guess they will ever leave us. There is no words that can help or ease that. Just always know you are never alone. Love Peggy
Congratulations on your marriage anniversary! I know the feeling of wanting to tell people to treasure every day with your child, but also stay silent. None of us can know that \"this time\" will be the last I ever see him/her alive. We know that there was no way for us to know. So to tell them to embrace each moment would be as if to tell them this might be your last time. And it changes nothing. Love to you, Belinda
WOW! Happy 25th,...what a milestone! And, with everything you have gone to! And, you went to the writers meeting! Kudos! You are starting to think of yourself! Good for you! Unfortunately, I know about the nightmares, they are always there for those of us who have gone through it. I pray for your peace! Love to you, Judy
Wow! Ya have had a lot of things going on! Happy 25th Anniversary!!!!!!!!! I am glad ya\'ll had such a good time at your party! Thats always a BONUS* I am sorry about the dreams hun...I wish that I had words to take that pain away..and ya right..no one will ever know...unless they are where ya are....I do know that he\'s smiling down on ya....thinking..\"mom...never knew ya had those moves!\" Awwwwww Ginger...my heart aches for ya....I am so without words ......I just know that ya are always here for me..I sooooo wanna say the right thing to ya....yet I dunno..what that would be right now...its understandable how ya feel....know that I appreciate ya..I adore ya....all that ya do...stand for....and do for our children....I love ya hun....ya really an amazing woman and I thank GOD for giving me the chance in knowing ya and having ya for my friend! Bunches of Hugs to ya! years.
Happy 25th!! It sounds like you had a great night! I am so proud of you for going to the writers club. It will be so good for you. Good luck with your book!
Love, Julia
Congrats on the anniversary, from your pics, fun was had by all. Way to go with the writers guild the first step is always the hardest. Looking forward to that book. Seems a lot of us have been walking close to the edge again this last while, maybe it\'s just the weather. Hope you got that laundry done and still had time to relax over the weekend. Love and hugs Cathy
Congratulations on 25 years!!! I can\'t believe you\'re going to have your book finished by the end of the month! Wow!! When do I get to read it? Can\'t wait!!! Love and hugs, Cynd