WOW!

3-13-09:  It has been a while since I have written a journal,although I have been reading other's.  I have been busy, sick, busy!  A lot has/is happening these days. I stepped totally out of "my box" on the 27th of February.  I joined the Springfield Writer's Guild and attended my first meeting.  A co-worker was supposed to go and didn't.  So, I almost chickened out!  It was snowing that day, I didn't want to go alone.  I could've come up with a zillion excuses.  But, I just sucked it up, endured the weather, and went alone.  I am, however, acquainted with another member so it wasn't like I was totally "alone".  I actually enjoyed it.  And, I learned a new thing or two, met a neighbor who belongs, and felt like this was something associated with living. I was very proud of myself for going! On the 3rd of March my husband and I recognized our 25th wedding anniversary!  That is a big deal.  On the 7th of March, we celebrated!  A lot!  We had about eighteen guests who we have absolute trust in.  (Meaning they get my/our, ups/downs.)  Most have been friends for many, many years.  Chris and Adam also attended.  I had the party at my house.  Food, drink, fun, and fellowship!  We requested NO GIFTS!  However, a few friends did not pay attention.  We received a gift certificate to Applebee's, a gift bag of some neat "stuff", and a few bottles of wine and champagne.  Very sweet!  We even, eventually, moved the party to the garage and danced until four in the morning!  (My garage is very large and has a wood stove.)  I am too old to party like that, but I have to say, I did have fun.  (The next day...not so much! lol)  It was too funny...a couple of my friends and I decided to put together a DooWop routine....we were not very good but had fun, anyway.   I was sick a couple of days that week...just can't get over this croup!  This week the other para in our class has it and has missed three days....hope he is better soon! Today, we went to the circus with our class.  It was a lot of fun!  The kids were totally engrossed in the program.  We do have one boy who is more behavioral than autistic.  He did fairly well, but there were a few definate "moments."   My computer crashed the other day.  I had to do a total restore on it.  I lost everything.  I even lost all of my book work.  That stinks!  The one day I didn't print what I had done!  Now, I have to go back and re-do about three hours of work!  I hope to have the book done by the end of March.  My spring break is March 23-27.  Including weekends, I will have nine days off.  I want to finish it then!  It has been a very painful project but I hope it brings some hope, guidance, and understanding to someone else who, sadly, finds themselves in my shoes.   The past couple of days have been really hard for me.  I have been having flashbacks about the day I found Scott.  I guess they will always come and go.  I have been dreaming of him, when I finally do sleep.  They are not "visiting" dreams.  Just dreams of the horror.  And during the day I find myself tearing up.  I even did that at the circus, today.  We took our kids to the circus nearly every year, for about fifteen years!  I want to scream to all the parents, "Please embrace these moments!"  But, I just look around and remain silent.  I want every parent to realize the joy of every moment.  However, I do not want them to ever think about the unthinkable!  Still...so much confusion! So, here I am with a weekend!  YEA!  I am tired.  My big plans this weekend include doing the laundry I did not do last weekend.  I have done a couple of loads this week, but, they have been patiently waiting to be folded.  I just didn't have it in me!  That just seemed like a lot of work. Please check out the anniversary photos I have posted.  I have even gone out on a limb and embarressed myself! LOL