BETTER!

Monday, 12-29-08:  First of all, thank you to all who commented on my journal.  It made me feel, if not better, that I was not just being over-reactive! Yesterday Craig and I went to Lowe's (woo-hoo) to look for antenna poles.  We browsed the store looking at things we like/don't like, just in case we ever do get to build a house!  Afterward we went to Chris' to see his new kitchen cabinets.  He has installed about 1/2 and they look great.  Craig had a coupon for a free pizza, from his job, so we picked it up and came home to watch a TV program about elephants. ( I love elephants...I have a "zillion" elephant "things" in my home.) Anyway, it was a decent day.  Craig and I don't really do much together anymore so anything is good.   Today I slept LATE!  I am still not feeling very well.  Adam and I went for haircuts this afternoon.  That made me feel so much better.  I really can't remember when I last had a haircut.  Last summer, sometime, I think.  Then, I went grocery shopping.  I am done for the next two weeks other than bread, milk, etc. YEA! I hate spending money at the grocery store!  But, I do like to eat.   I made stew for supper.  It was one of my better ones.  No two ever taste the same.   I am going out to dinner with my best friend from high school tomorrow evening.  I haven't seen her for several months.  We email, etc. but just never seem to be able to get our schedules to mesh.  It will be a nice treat.   And, Craig, can have leftover stew!  Ahhh....the plans we make! lol   Poor guy!  He really CANNOT cook!  He would eat ice cream or a sandwich if there was nothing ready for him.  But, he can warm something up! Today has not been a terrible day.  I feel guilty, sort of, when that happens.  It has become just a "given" that I will be sad, upset, meloncholy, etc., everyday. So, when I have a semi-decent day, I feel like I shouldn't.  I think grief makes us slightly NUTS!  Anyway, I am trying to just accept these not terrible days for what they are and not feel bad about it.  It doesn't mean the ache in my stomach is gone, it doesn't mean I don't miss Scott, it doesn't mean I don't still think of him every other thought,  it just means it wasn't a terrible day.  It is what it is.