Sun. Night: Not a horrible weekend, for the most part. I slept most of Saturday. I needed it! Hubby and I had quite the heart to heart Friday night. It was painful but good. He went grocery shopping with me Sat. evening. And today, we went to a Spfd. Cardinals ball game. After the game Chris found us and took us up to see the media room where he works. It was pretty cool. I have been struggling still, again, with whether or not I could've saved Scott when I heard that "funny" breath. I know that thought process is futile but it continues to haunt me. I will forever be guessing.
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Sorry to hear you had a rough weekend. I hope that your days ahead find you some peace at heart. Love and Hugs.
I\'m sorry honey. I wish I could help you with this struggle, somehow. You don\'t deserve the beatings you give yourself. I\'m glad you and hubby talked. It takes us awhile to do that. It feels good, though. Big hugs to you, sweetie. Love ya, Barbara
Not having any control over losing our kids will always haunt us. When we are powerless it is so very hard to accept, especially when you wonder IF you could have done something. I hope in time you will free yourself from the guilt. You deserve to be happy. Scott wants you happy. I\'m glad you and hubby are communicating better. Love Robin
I am sorry you had a rough time. DId you and your hubby get alot talked about that you wanted to? I hope so. It really helps when we can talk about things with your spouses and let things out. I am sorry your struggling with some issues over Scott. Honey just reach deep down inside of yoursefl and ask for a higher power to take it away. Scott is ok. He is with you. I know this doesn\'t help but I\'m just trying to give you a little peace. I will pray for you and keep you in my thought that it will get better for you. love you, sheri
Glad your weekend was ok. Those heart to heart talks can be very draining. My husband and I are way overdue for one of those, but neither of us has the energy for it yet. Hang in there with us, this is a long journey! Cyn
You can\'t blame yourself on being able to save Scott I say the same thing over and over in my mind If I would of just went there when I hadn\'t heard from him.It haunts me to but somewhere,sometime I have to let it go if I possibly can.This is going to kill me or maybe make me a better person I have no clue right now.I\'m so tired,sad and it seems I have this little person on my shoulder telling me I could of done better raising my children I tried the best I knew how.Keep in touch.Peace,jfm24,Vicki
Bless you...I understand how hard it must be for you, but you are right...it is futile to think about the what ifs. If you feel yourself slipping into that thought process...say STOP or distract yourself...get up...do something else. Try really hard to avoid going there. My daughter can tell when I am \"thinking\" and she will say...mom...don\'t go there...and the precious way she says it helps me. Keep trying for you! Karen
As mothers I know that we each feel powerless when we lose a child. We think that we should have know that there was something wrong. WE should have seen the signs and saved our child. I feel this way to. It is hard to understand that we can not be in control. Be gentle with yourself and know you are not to blame.
Glad you had a nice tlak with him and that you got to go out. Take care. Tammie
That\'s what Moms do. Go over and over it, until we are either entirely nuts or accept that we could do nothing. Believe me you could have done nothing. What is, is. Try to let it go. Love and hugs cathy