TGIF!!!!

It's Friday again!  The Dr. appt. took a long time!  I had the icky p-test, EKG, chest x-ray, and lab work.  Now I have to get a mamogram and a colonoscopy along with seeing an ENT. As I was leaving I saw my high school sweetheart helping his mom with her wheelchair.  I started to say hello and decided not to.  Now, I wish I had.  We were together 2 yrs. in high school and a little bit after that.  I broke up with him and broke his heart.  I have only seen him a couple of other times, at reunions, since 1974.  That was so long ago but I have really fond memories.  Guess I just wasn't supposed to talk to him.  His life, as far as I know, has turned out pretty well.  He married a beautiful girl several months after we broke up. (That was the problem, he was ready for marriage...I wasn't) They had a girl and a boy and a few years ago renewed their vows.  Darn.....I really do wish I would've said hello.  I always liked his mom, too.   I think I am just meloncholy (sp?) tonight.  I am mad at Craig.  He can be so hateful in the tone of his voice.  I told him to go to hell.  This is the 2nd time in our 24 year marriage I have said that.  I am just in no mood!  After that we watched the movie "Something's Gotta Give".  I had never seen it and it was a really good movie but it made me kind of sad, too.  I miss that "falling in love feeling".  Craig commented a time or two on the movie but I only answered him when he asked me a direct question.  When he got ready for bed he asked, all nice, what my plans were for tomorrow.  I wanted to ask him why the hell he cared but decided just to tell him I have none except my Mom coming by in the morning. That is the truth and I don't have any energy for anything but an honest, regular answer.  I think being mad is doing me good though.  It has been a break from intense grief.  Peaceful wishes to all who are reading.