Wednesday:  First of all, to all of you who wrote, thank you.  About the check...thanks for the compliments but in my world there is nothing I can do but try to do the right thing.  I just can't live with deception. Scott used to tell me I was "too good".  My response, "I really am not, it is just the trade off is not worth it."  I talked to Chris last night and as I thought he is not in love with Kristen.  I think, at this point, it a matter of how and when he will break up with her.  He really cares for her and dreads causing her pain.  I told him the longer it goes, the more painful it will be.  No matter what, I will have his back.  Scott's headstone was placed today.  There are a couple of problems that will be addressed.  First, they forgot a comma.  That would drive me even crazier than I am so it has to be fixed.  I am very anal about grammer, punctuation, etc. although you might not know by the way I write/spell here sometimes.  The other thing is the company where the stone comes from sent the wrong base.  But, they went ahead and set it and when the right one comes in they will replace it.  Other than that, I am very happy with the design, stone choice, style, etc.  It is as nice as a thing like this can be.  When I get the photos developed, I will post them.  It was very hard and I was in a funk all day.  I went straight, after work, to the cemetery. I cried, took pictures, put the flowers back, and cried some more.  When Craig got home he wanted to go, and me go with him, but I just couldn't go again.  He went alone.  He was gone quite a while and I think that was good.  He has never been alone there, that I know of.  Hopefully, he shed some tears and talked to Scott.  He would never do that if I was with him.  I didn't ask about it and he didn't offer any info.  That's ok.  Mom is getting out of the hospital tomorrow.  We still don't know anything about the possible kidney surgery.  I guess she will see that Dr. soon.  She is on 3 new meds.  Adam is still puny.  I feel bad for him.  It, whatever "it" is, will just have to run it's course, I guess.  Here's hoping for a better tomorrow. 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Getting the marker is another part of the puzzle of our life now. It is not easy...but it goes along with our loss, so we must do this too. How life has changed for us...love and hugs...Karen
deleted_user
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I may not comment much on your journal any more you will be saying where did she go to school? LOL... I do know that feeling when they placed Josh\'s it was like a slap in the face and to see his head stone sometimes it still doesn\'t seem real. Peace & Love Tammy
deleted_user
deleted_user

I hope you have a better day today. Each day is a new struggle for us. A new marker of our loss. I hope they fix Scott\'s marker soon. There is no room for that kind of agrivation in our lives now. Love and hugs, Cyn
deleted_user
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I too may have to think about commenting on your journal now that I know you are a grammar and punctuation person. As you can tell I\'m not. The stone is such a big final step and it needs to be as perfect as it can. My spouse often goes alone to see John, and usually in the dark. I think it lets him feel free enough to cry, talk or whatever needs to be done. We have a police like the American army, don\'t ask, don\'t tell. Lol I figure they {John and his Dad} always had secrets from me and why should now be different. Hope you have a good day and that Adam soon feels better. Love and hugs Cathy
deleted_user
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They have to dig Justin\'s headstone up the first week of April the sealant on all 4 corners is coming off.I wasn\'t very happy but what can you do.I\'m very protective of his headstone you can\'t hardly see it but I can and thats what matters.Hope you have a nice weekend.Hugs,jfm24,Vicki