Tuesday...I had a rough day yesterday. Not enough sleep and too much on my mind. I did get my hair cut, though. She cut it a little shorter than I like but that's ok 'cause it will probably be a while before I think of it again. Today was a better day as far as I go. The kids at school were AWFUL! I had to do a restraint on one of my favorites. I hate it when it comes to that but sometimes it just does. He weighs 215 (12 yrs. old) so it was a struggle and my poor, old body is feelinig it tonight. That was even with help. Tomorrow, I hope, he will be having a better day. It has been several months since I have had to do this with him. I skipped the Compassionate Friend's mtg. tonight. Chris couldn't go and I just didn't really feel like it. I still don't feel that great and am tired. I go for my 2nd treatment of EMDR tomorrow. And, of course, the tension is building over the SS hearing on Thurs. I know it will go how it goes but it still is making me crazy. The weather Thurs. is supposed to be really yucky. Another round of sleet, snow, freezing rain, etc. I will have to get out in it, regardless. My appt. is at 9 a.m. so, hopefully, I can time the traffic just right. I plan on leaving at least an hour ahead of time just in case. Poor hubby had to go to work at 1:30 a.m. this morning. He was on call. Since he works at a hospital, in the grounds dept., he has to make sure there is no ice anywhere. We had a light dusting of snow last night. He usually goes in at 7:30 a.m. I am sure he will get called in early tomorrow night, too. He finally shared something with me....We have a screened in porch. On it is an old recliner (among other things/furniture) and Scott would often sit in it, look out at the fields & sky and think about his life. If he was home he was almost always in that chair when Craig came home. Our garage is detached so you have to walk by it. Craig said for weeks he would look at the chair to see if Scott was there. Of course he wasn't and that was so very hard. (I can't even look in the porch) I was grateful he finally expressed something. He has not shared a lot of the feelings he has had or the struggles. Craig is a very reserved person so for him this was a big step. Peace to everyone.
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I\'m so glad Craig was able to share that with you. It may be a small step, but at least it\'s a start. Glad today was better for you, hopefully tomorrow will be as well. Lots of love, Dawn
That is really touching hon, very.......I\'m glad he told you that - and opened up a little - men do tend to squash their emotions.
Your weather sounds awful - but I\'ve missed not having much snow this winter at all - Don\'t try to stay to focused on the meeting. I\'m glad to hear you\'re leaving early - and I\'ll keep you in prayer on Thursday for a safe trip back & forth. I have a friend that did the same kind of work you do - I know from her - how trying it can be -
you must have a lot of patience for what you do - that\'s a gift.
Take care & keep us posted,
It so good to hear that he is opening up even if its just a little. I wish you peace the rest of the week. love and hugs to you
I know it seems like our husbands don\'t share much and I am glad Craig finally shared with you. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and find my Husband sitting at the foot of our bed silently crying. I just sit and hug him no words just hugs. I think he feels that he failed our son by not protecting him, He did not fail, and I tell him that often. Love and hugs Melissa
Men are so hard to read sometimes. Mine is holding and releasing in anger again. I hate it when he gets like this. It\'s very hard to live with. I am so glad that your hubby openned up to you. I really think they need to do that more often, it has to be hard for them to carry all that around. He probably felt better too. Good Luck with your hearing, Scott will be there to help you through it. Hope you have a better day at work. Love and Hugs.
I agree ,Men will only let go a little at a time My husband is still that way.I know the kids at school are so different now Its sad they are so angry and depress now .I wish you luck at the hearing and thats good your leaving early .Because you dont want them to give you another date .They are so slow with that.
lol Reggiesmom Caroline
It is a wonderful thing that he has opened up a little. That has to make you feel so good inside. I hope you both can keep that up.
As for your meeting I wish you the best. Do take that extra time you are talking about to get there. The weather is nasty all over the place. We have had alot of snow here and then it got really warm this week yuck. makes it hard.
Wishing you well and I know that your son will be with you. Tammie
I wish you luck and will be thinking about you tomorrow. I have to pass Greg\'s room every time I do the laundry. I stare at his empty bed hoping he will magically appear in there one of these times. It is heartbreaking to see these reminders and know that we will never see them in this world again.
Barbara
Please stay safe tomorrow and know we are all wishing you the strength to get through it.
Glad you have had a sharing session. Once they start it\'s easier to continue. Hoping all goes well on Thursday. Love and hugs Cathy
It is going to take time. Everyone is hurting. Sorry you missed the Compassionate Friends meeting. It is a shame they only meet once a month. Oh well you always have us to talk with.
Take care,
It is hard for these men to share how they feel-they just want to fix everything and make it better and they can\'t. I find that many of them withdraw just because they don\'t know how to handle any of this. You be careful in that weather-I saw the north was getting hit again with ice, so be very careful, Love, Sandy