Tuesday...I had a rough day yesterday.  Not enough sleep and too much on my mind.  I did get my hair cut, though.  She cut it a little shorter than I like but that's ok 'cause it will probably be a while before I think of it again.  Today was a better day as far as I go.  The kids at school were AWFUL!  I had to do a restraint on one of my favorites.  I hate it when it comes to that but sometimes it just does.  He weighs 215 (12 yrs. old) so it was a struggle and my poor, old body is feelinig it tonight.  That was even with help.  Tomorrow, I hope, he will be having a better day.  It has been several months since I have had to do this with him.  I skipped the Compassionate Friend's mtg. tonight.  Chris couldn't go and I just didn't really feel like it.  I still don't feel that great and am tired.  I go for my 2nd treatment of EMDR tomorrow.  And, of course, the tension is building over the SS hearing on Thurs.  I know it will go how it goes but it still is making me crazy.  The weather Thurs. is supposed to be really yucky.  Another round of sleet, snow, freezing rain, etc.  I will have to get out in it, regardless.  My appt. is at 9 a.m. so, hopefully, I can time the traffic just right.  I plan on leaving at least an hour ahead of time just in case.  Poor hubby had to go to work at 1:30 a.m. this morning.  He was on call.  Since he works at a hospital, in the grounds dept., he has to make sure there is no ice anywhere.  We had a light dusting of snow last night.  He usually goes in at 7:30 a.m.  I am sure he will get called in early tomorrow night, too.  He finally shared something with me....We have a screened in porch.  On it is an old recliner (among other things/furniture) and Scott would often sit in it, look out at the fields & sky and think about his life.  If he was home he was almost always in that chair when Craig came home. Our garage is detached so you have to walk by it. Craig said for weeks he would look at the chair to see if Scott was there.  Of course he wasn't and that was so very hard. (I can't even look in the porch)  I was grateful he finally expressed something.  He has not shared a lot of the feelings he has had or the struggles.  Craig is a very reserved person so for him this was a big step.  Peace to everyone.