I wrote an entry that didn't save. Hate it when that happens. To all who reading, please check out the proof of Scott's headstone and let me know what you think. Honestly. I think I like it as well as something like this can be liked. I got it from the monument co. today. In my non-saved entry I was complaining about the cold. One of my friends, at Christmas, gave me an outdoor clay pot filled with Narcissious. (sp?) I have it indoors and they are starting to pop up. Soon I will have Spring in my living room to hopefully carry me through until the real thing. What a thoughtful gift! My friends husbands Memorial service is Friday evening. I have decided not to go. I just think it would make my emotions tumble out too hard, too fast. I have not gone to a visitation or funeral since Scott died. Of course, all of the ones I missed were for very old people. I will send a card and call her next week. She probably will not even notice I am not there. We were just chatty co-workers. I went through Scott's visitation guest book the other night. I was amazed that I hardly remember anyone who came. I was reading it thinking, "I don't remember seeing them, or them, or them....." To all of you who comment on my journal, thank you. You always help me see things from another direction and just make me feel better.
Replies
I know how you feel, funerals are hard enough at any time. At Andrew\'s, I remember very few people. In fact I didn\'t see anyone at the funeral, not even the ones I walked right past. The only people I remember at all were at the lunch after, and only the ones who came to give me a hug. I love those early spring flowers, unfortunately I can\'t have them in my house as my allergies go haywire with the smells. I will take a look at your picture and let you know. Love ya, Dawn
I have not been to a funeral since Melissa\'s either. I don\'t know if I could walk back into a funeral home again. I need to get some spring growing in this house. The amount of snow we have had this year well to give you an idea, the snow banks are as high as I am. Now it is very very cold here. I will be glad when this winter is over. I say follow your heart, with Scott\'s headstone, I think it\'s very nice. Love and Hugs.
I know how you feel about not remembering people at the funeral. The only thing I remember about the actual funeral was having to walk away from his casket...hardest and longest walk I ever took. I looked over Mike\'s book tonight and can\'t remember half the people. I am in the process of trying to decide what to put on Mike\'s headstone. Doing this is making me feel it\'s really final...my son is gone. I have to go to a funeral Saturday. My best friend\'s grandmother passed way and she was like my grandmother so it hits home pretty hard. Hugs & Love, Mimi
I cannot go into a funeral home either. I think anyone who would fault me for that has a problem, and it\'s their problem to deal with. I think there are just some things we should let ourselves off the hook for, and not put ourselves through it. We\'ve truly been through enough.
I\'ve had a hard time with funeral homes and funerals since my dad died (almost 15 years ago). That\'s why we didn\'t do a funeral for Weston, but rather a celebration of his life at the officer\'s club at the local Air Force base. I\'m like you when I look at the guest book, thinking, \"Were they there?\" But then there were well over 200 people from all over the world. Your friend will appreciate the phone call and card more than your presence at the funeral. I know I would.
I know how you feel about funerals, I haven\'t been to one since John died. Not even Nathan\'s but I did talk to and see his Mom. After everyone is gone that\'s when your friend will need you. Love and hugs Cathy
I understand. Everything I do...I make a mess of.. I am so depressed. All I can do is get out of bed ..get dressed and cry.
That was nice someone gave you flowers at Christmas. I did not recognize Christmas this year. I did not give or receive gifts or cards...nothing. I am not ready to celebrate life. I am not ready to celebrate anything.
Ginger,
I have gone to several funerals since my son died , mostly family and let me tell you it is very emotional. I read the guest book from Richards funeral and I had to keep asking my younger son who these people were. Life was a blur for almost a year.
Hugs, Inga