Thursday night....Yeah! No school/work tomorrow! I am so tired. Chris was over tonight which was nice. He needed to use my computer as he is not yet hooked up at his new home. He sort of put the cart before the horse and started a new DJ/Sound Tech business before having all his ducks in a row. He starts his 1st gig the day after he gets home from Vegas. I think he figured it all out. I will take him to the airport tomorrow eve. He is nervous. I feel that he will be ok. I hope he has a great time. I am still funky. I wake up each morning and don't know how I will do this again. Somehow I do. I just hate this sick feeling in my stomach all the time! I don't know if it will ever go away. Tomorrow I am going to try to go in Scott's room and rearrange the furniture, put things on the dresser away, etc. I cannot do anything with his clothes yet and will not remove anything from the room. However, I plan on making it look less like Scott's room. I haven't had the door open in 7 months except to occassionally go in. Baby steps, I tell myself. Even thinking about it feels like a betrayal. And, to do anything, makes it all the more real. I am not sure I am ready but I am going to try. I expect to cry a lot! I will do what I can and wait if on whatever I can't. There is no hurry as I don't need the room anyway. Never in my life did I imagine how hard this could be. One good piece of news...we are still having trouble with the ins. Chris works with a guy who's Dad is an atty. The Dad said he would talk with me and give me a clue as to what or what not I can do at no charge. I will call him in the morning. I feel very blessed with this opportunity as my check book is in seriously bad shape! We have tons of assets but when it comes to the liquid stuff, I am as poor as a church mouse. CRAZY! Once again, thanks to all who read my journal and comment. You all keep me grounded when I feel as though I am getting out of control. Thank you.
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Baby steps sound good - take all the time you need. I had no choice, when Shaun died we had to go and empty out his 2bd rm house - he was renting. I hope all goes well for Chris - I\'ll keep him in my thoughts.
From one poor church mouse to another - stay strong.
Even though Weston no longer lived at home, I still can\'t bring myself to change his room. Most of his stuff from ND is in a storage facility. I haven\'t been able to get a box out in quite some time. I need to take care of all of that, but like you it feels like I\'m betraying him. We can only do what we can do and that\'s that! Hoping for strength and peace for all of us. Cyn
Baby Steps for sure...I still can\'t do anything with Melissa\'s room, it\'s bee over 8 months now. Still hurts to much to even thing about it. Hubby wants to turn her room into a memory room with a fountain and all. I don\'t want a shrine. Don\'t know what to do. I give you credit for even trying. You go girl. Glad your able to get some help with the insurance thing. Take Care, Love and Hugs.
Whatever progress we make is positive, no matter how small. I have Greg\'s clothes hanging in the basement, and sometimes, I just need to go in and hold them to my face and breathe in his essence. How we miss our children!
My daughter has not done anything with My grandsons room yet.It is still just like he left it that morning.I have gone into his room one time and could not stay but a few min.He had came to my house to get him a pepsi the night before and his can was still setting beside his bed.You can still see the imprint of his head in his pillow.You are right I never imagened how hard this can be.
Ginger, You sound like you are going to give it a try. You know that if you are not able to do it then it is not the right time for you. I am here if you need someone to talk with tomorrow or if you are having a hard time with it. Love your friend, Always, MJ
I agree...there is rush. You have the opportunity to go slow. That is the best course of action.
Sending you tons of peace, love and strength.
Be kind to yourself...do only what you are ready to do...love, peace and hugs...Karen
Baby steps are good and give yourself an out if you just cannot do it. Love and hugs cathy