Well, another lousy day! First the insurance said they would pay. Today I got a letter and they are not going to. I am fighting it. It is a lousy $10,000 policy. Barely enough for the funeral and headstone. I really wanted to get Scott a headstone before Christmas. Guess that won't happen. One more let down. How many can one take before they go totally NUTS??!?!?!? I am so sick of being depressed and down. Not that the money would make me happy. It just would take some of the other strain off. I feel my shoulders sag a little more each day. The ice storm was kind to my area this time. We kept our power and didn't lose many tree limbs. They were mostly gone from the Jan. storm, anyway. I did have to go to work. That was disappointing although I am sure I will be glad when the nice weather is here and we don't have to make up a day. I am really looking forward to the holiday break. I am so tired. We will have a total of 12 days off. I plan to take the tree down the day after Christmas as it is hard to bear. Someone said I was strong....NOT TRUE! I just try to stay in the moment. I know that sounds cliche' and often I fail. It's just if I look at the whole picture at one time I truly will go nuts. I already have one foot into crazy. And, I just keep putting on my "mask". I am sure that is not a healthy thing as the mask has to stay on longer and longer as time goes on. To everyone reading this, forgive my whining. I have to do it somewhere.
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As Christmas nears it\'s almost like I\'m scared.I so miss Justin.As you say it\'s driving you crazy me too.I\'ve been sleeping alot lately.I can\'t believe the insurance won\'t pay up.Sometimes it may take longer or are they not paying because the way Scott died?Just try and stay strong and stay busy I know that\'s hard to do.I struggle everyday and like you said my shoulders are sagging.Are boys are in heaven and I know that, doesn\'t help I my be selfish but I want Justin here.I\'m so sorry about Scott\'s headstone do they have any thing on his grave with his name?I know that didn\'t with Justin.You are stronger than you think and I think I am too because if it was up to me I would be gone from here and I could see Justin and many other family members.I went to Dr.he increased my medicine to try and make it through the holidays but I told him it doesn\'t matter how much medicine I take I still have a whole in my heart.He said that he knows he doesn\'t feel my pain because he\'s never been through it.He could tell I was in pain and very depressed.I guess it has to be me to try and understand this pain,being cheated sure is going to be hard.Don\'t know if I will ever get to that place.DS helps alot but sometimes it makes me very sad.I always thought I was alone with my pain but I found out I\'m not alone.I do pray for you that the insurance goes through they should try and be alittle more understanding.Big Hugs to you and some flowers love jfm24,vicki
You aren\'t whining. You\'re a grieving mother and there are no rules, no guidelines to help us through this pain. We\'re here to listen, and give whatever support we can. Some of my days are spent in a fog also. I forget everything, and constantly repeat myself. This from a woman who used to be on top of things. Together we\'ll make it.Greg\'s mom, Rita
I understand. You are not whining..Just releasing. I to have heard you are strong. No just standing upright i tell them. Wake up and trudge along...Just making it from Point A to Point B..Love and hugs to you..
I hear ya, I\'m still fighting with the insurance as well. Had to re-fax information I sent in July. It\'s enough to drive one crazy. Hang in there, I wish you peace. Love and Hugs.
You are not whining. We\'re here to listen and understand. I\'m glad to know I\'m not the only one feeling these kinds of feelings. Peace, Cyn
It seems as though we\'re all stressed, not just from losing our children but all of lifes issues, plus the holiday season. I\'m sorry the headstone situation is disappointing you, check out angelsofhopeinc.org, if I remember correctly they provide funds for childrens headstones to families whom are having financial difficulties, maybe they can help. My love and prayers, Lynette ~ Matthews mom
Those damn insurance companies. Do you want to scream \"Is my son not worth $10,000\". All the $$$ they have and to give people false hope. Totally unnecessary in events like this. They should happily pay it and never question a thing. We kept getting an ambulance bill until I finally called and said ENOUGH!! do you know what this does to a mother. I\'m so sorry that you have that added stress. I pray things will get resolved. We all wear these masks now unfortunately mine has more wrinkles and gray hair. Here for you. Love Robin
I so understand how you are feeling. I am struggling with the holidays, the insurance companies and just missing my son more than words can ever express. Sleep seems to be the time when I can forget all the things that are happening around me... so sleep perhaps even dream... what a blessed relief from the ugly world around us. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Vera~Erick\'s mom