I didn't want to get up this morning. Of course I never do.  But today for a different reason.  I was dreaming about Scott.  He walked into the kitchen and I was hugging him so tightly and crying.  He was smiling and looked happy.  I hope it is a sign.  The last dream I had was that he called me asking me to come pick him up and I told him I couldn't because he was dead.  He asked, "Is that why I am cold sometimes?"  He seemed so confused. That dream really troubled me. So this dream was awesome.  I wish it was real but that is a foolish wish.  In any case, it gave me a warm feeling and I hope I dream of him again tonight.  The trip to the mall was ok.  The kids saw Santa and though I struggled a bit with memories, I made it.  I have to go back with Adam tomorrow and pick a few things up.  I am glad I have already been today....maybe it will make tomorrow easier.  Craig is still not feeling great but not terrible.  This stomach thing is tough.  I still have moments myself and it has been a week.  On Scott's memory web page a couple of his friends left memories.  It made me laugh.  They were talking about getting in the hot tub, getting out and making snow angels, and jumping back in.  It apparently was VERY cold out.  I am sure I was here but I don't remember that.  I want all their memories as well as my own.  I am trying very hard to remember how much he enjoyed life when he wasn't struggling and how much he touched so many people.  I want to stop focusing on the day he died and how and start focusing on the good things in his life.  And, most of his life was good.  Such a free spirit.  Speaking of that, a friend told me she thought sometimes it was so much harder for those with such a free spirit to be in the confines of this life.  They live to the fullest and fastest which often results in a young death.  It make some sense to me although I still have to think about it.  I am hoping for a peaceful weekend.  Other than tomorrow, I will stay home, I think.