(Thurs. night) One of my autistic students asked me, 1st thing this morning, why I looked so tired. Now that is bad that even the young, specical ed., ones notice..... My oldest son, Chris, came over tonight and helped design Scott's headstone. He is VERY artistic. I think we finally have it right. It may sound kind of silly but we have tried to do and choose things Scott would like even though he may or may not know. We just want to honor him for being part of our lives and being who he was for better or worse. My husband seems to be coming down with the same bug I had. YUCK! Hope he gets it over with before his orientation. Our class is going on a field trip tomorrow....Ruby Tuesdays and to see Santa Claus. I am so excited for the kids and yet am preparing myself, as best I can, for the Christmas music, displays, memories, etc. Like a couple of other friends I have been doing a lot of online shopping. Although, I promised my youngest son, Adam, we would go shopping Saturday. I will focus on Adam....not the holiday. My mom invited me to lunch and to see the Nutcracker play on the 22nd of Dec. She is trying so hard to distract me and is so worried about me. I hate that because she has her own battle with cancer. But, she is my mom and that is just what Moms do, I guess. I am sure I would be the same. And, I will enjoy being with her since we don't know her outcome. Obviously, though, we never know anything about who goes when and for what reason. I truly appreciate all the comments you make on my journal. You are so positive and encouraging even while you are fighting your own battles. Thank you.
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You are such a wonderful lady.You enjoy your shopping day with Adam it\'s good to get out.Hope you had a great day with your students.Enjoy your special day with your mom they are special moms.So sorry she has cancer.What kind of cancer does she have? Yeah mom\'s are mom\'s doesn\'t matter how old we are we are still their children trying to give us advice my mom tells me that I should be at peace that Justin is in Heaven no more tears,no worries or pain I tell her I know that but I still miss and always will.She prays for me all the time calls all the time telling me I need to get out of this house but you know what I like being here I feel safe and if I feel like crying or screaming I can do it here .I broke down a couple times last week once at Hobby Lobby I was trying to get Justin Christmas flowers everyone there were laughing and trying to figure out how they were going to decorate their house for Christmas.All I could think of is those people being happy shopping and here I was trying to buy flowers for my dead son a lady came over to see if I was ok I told her I wish I was I told her a little about my loss.She actually gave me a hug and said she was so sorry.Later I went to the mall and was at Kirklands looking at rocks that have words on them I was looking for a Love one a older lady came over and was looking at them for a peace one I don\'t know how we got on the subject of death but she said she lost her son in a car accident I told her I lost my son this year she actually said a prayer for me then I started crying never did get the rock that said Love.It\'s nice to know that there\'s people out there that still have a heart and have feelings for other strangers.I went to the mall yesterday I got presents for 4 people thought I did good I really enjoyed it I felt like a real person I even smiled at people seen a friend that had moved to Branson her daughter and Rebecca were friends.I told her about Justin she was so shocked we visited a few more minutes said she would call me and we would go to lunch when she comes back to Springfield.Sorry I have written so much but wanted to tell you how I was doing last couple days have been normal or something like that.Hope you have a good weekend.Hope Craig is feeling better there\'s some kinda of bug going around.Take Care will talk to you soon.jfm24,vicki
Enjoy the moments that you can...I am sure that we will eventually have more enjoyable moments than we do now...Love and hugs...Karen
You are special and I hope the field trip goes well. It is hard to see everyone enjoying the holidays while our hearts ache for our kids. I think one day will will enjoy them. Definitely in a different way but we will. All I can say is thank goodness for moms. My mom had been such a rock for me. She has lost two children herself. One of my brothers at 3 months and another of my brothers at 19. (I sometimes think my family is cursed) I wouldn\'t have ever thought she\'d have to lose a grandchild. I see her strength and it keeps me going. I\'m sure your mothers battle with cancer is keeping you enduring as well. I pray you have some peace and comfort this weekend and that hubby isn\'t down too long. Love to you. Robin