Well, I had 3 days off and did virtually nothing. That is ok. I needed that. Today I went to the cemetery and cried. As always. I don't know why I go. I think I just need to make sure it is real. But, it is all too real and I know that. Each day gets harder. I just can't believe I will never see him again or talk with him. I miss my "baby boy" so much. I hate waking up with this gut wrenching pain everyday. We have decided, as a family, not to "do" Thanksgiving this year. I think we will just go to a movie or something. Just to cook for the sake of cooking is not reasonable at all. Adam doesn't want to even put a Christmas tree up but I told him Scott would be very disappointed if we didn't. It will be hard, though. Adam shared a funny story with me about Scott. It is not really appropriate but I had to laugh anyway. Apparently Scott & Adam, only 19 mos. age diff., had what they called "Men's Day Wednesday". They hung out. I knew that much. About them hanging out...I didn't know it had a name. Anyway, I guess Scott bought some whiskey and shared it with Adam. (Shame on him!) They were at the "Hut" as shown in my photos, which is 3 fields away. (I live in the country) According to Adam they couldn't find the gate to get back home driving through the field and kept driving around the fence row about 4 or 5 times, at 10 mph, before they found it. It took about 1 1/2 hours. They got hung up in the 8 acre field which is the middle one. I had to laugh 'cause I could just see them going around and around knowing it was there somewhere. No, they should not have been drinking but they were not on the road and it is a fun memory for Adam. Any other time they could find the gate with their eyes closed. Adam's girlfriend, Melissa is pretty sick. She has cystic fibrosis. So anytime she gets a respiratory infection it is very serious. Think of her, please, if you are reading this. She is such a sweetheart. Back to work tomorrow....I think I am relieved. It keeps my mind on other things. Thanks to all of you who read this, have visited Scott's web page, send me hugs, and help me stay a little bit stronger on this awful journey. There is, in fact, strength in numbers. I hope, in my weakened state, I have been and can be a little bit of support to all of you. Maybe together we can keep breathing.
Replies
Thank goodness they had that time together. Thank you for sharing your story. The memories are going to be hard to face because our grief is so raw but they will comfort us later, at least I hope they will. Take Care, Love and Hugs.
It\'s those fun memories that we cherish, isn\'t it? I, too have heard so many stories about my son from his friends and co-workers, many I would feel awkward sharing. But, our boys were our boys. They had their unique personalities and touched so many people in their lives.
I\'m glad to hear you had 3 days to do nothing. Those regeneration periods are so very important to us! Praying to a peaceful week for you. *Hug* Adrianne
{{{hugs}}} honey! glad you had the few days to do nothing. we all need that, love you! ~ charlayne
That\'s a great story of what to me is normal brother stuff. Wonderful to hang on to. Our kids were not perfect and I for one didn\'t want mine to be so to hear you tell a story which shows me your boys we just regular young men cheers me up. So many \"just Normal\" young men and women have been called to a place their parents can\'t go, we all together can find our way, if not to that place at least to a place of peace and comfort. Praying for you all. Love and hugs Cathy
Oh the things we don\'t know about our kids. I had all the friends that came to the funeral write down a memory. Over 600 memories to read and yes some \"floored\" me. Gotta love those boys! We too will be doing Thanksgiving differently this year. Anything that helps us get through the holidays is OK by me. I pray for strength and comfort for you this week. Thinking of you. Love Robin
Oh, I heard some of those stories about Chris after he passed-some were just hysterical-and I just laughed and shook my head-just like you no one was in a position to get hurt-they just acted and probably looked pretty silly-these boys! And I agree with Robin-however you get through the holidays is the right way-you go with your heart and you will be okay, Love, Sandy