Another day under my belt...It was a hard one. I reallly felt lethargic today in spite of the beautiful weather. Then, I began cleaning. Manic, I think. In so many ways I am thrilled for the weekend. In other ways, they are just plain HARD. I think too much! Scott's Dad & I put a bedframe in Scott's room today. For some reason, Scott only wanted the box springs and mattress...no frame. Anyway, we had a frame we wanted to get out of the garage. We put his bed on the frame. After the few minutes of vacuuming, setting it up, etc., I couldn't get out of his room fast enough. It was just too hard. I don't know if changing something was the problem or what. Does anyone feel guilty when they make a change to what once was? I don't want to throw away a single note or anything I have with Scott's handwriting on it. Even if it means nothing to me. I feel ridiculous sometimes. My head tells me one thing and my heart another. We discussed Thanksgiving today. If my other sons want me to cook, I will. If they have other plans, or can have them, it is ok with me. I don't want to cook for the sake of cooking. My husband & I will just go to a movie and forget things for a couple of hours. I am not looking forward to the holidays. In my latest Compassionate Friends newsletter they suggested for the Christmas stocking writing a message to put in it. I think that is a great idea and I think we will do that. Each year. It will be personal and it will be something in Scott's stocking. I think I will just leave them in there. Does anyone have any other suggestions that might help me get through this 1st holiday season? I suspect no holidays will ever be easy but this 1st seems CRAZY! I know I did not handle his birthday well. To everyone who reads this and comments, THANK YOU! I always appreciate the support and wisdom.
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I commend you for thinking ahead and planning for the holidays. I, too am going to go through my first holiday season without my son and am trying to do the same thing. Since I don\'t have any other children, I wanted to do something totally different this Christmas and my wonderful DS sisters posted some good suggestions for me on my journal. Halloween my husband and I went to a movie. I\'ll be working this Thanksgiving. And, Christmas is going to be spent away from home doing charity work in honor of my son. I know this doesn\'t answer your questions and I wish I could offer more help. But, know that you are not alone going through your first holiday season. We are all here to hold each other up during this difficult time of year. Much love, Adrianne
I am doing the message thing in Melissa\'s stocking and letting family and her friends in it as well. Then on her Birthday (Jan. 3rd) I am going to have a bonfire (she loved bonfires) and I am going to burn the notes so all those words go up in smoke to her in heaven. Everyone thinks I\'m losing my mind but I feel that it\'s what I need to do. That is all I think I will be able to manage this Christmas as I was just going to dig a hole and jump in. I hope this helps. Take Care, Love and Hugs
i did that last year with Reece\'s stocking .... only i started on december 1st and wrote a message every day to put in his stocking till christmas. then on new years eve i put them in the fireplace .... much like tracyw\'s thinking. figure the words would rise to him. i want to do something new but not sure yet. i know i will continue his stocking. love you! ~ charlayne
THANK YOU FOR THE IDEA OF THE MESSAGE THING, IF YOU DONT MIND I AM GOING TO PASS THAT ON TO MY MOM SO THAT SHE CAN DO THAT FOR MY SISTER???THINKING OF YOU AND KEEPING YOU IN MY PRAYERS!!!!