October 23: Well, Scott's birthday was yesterday. I visited the cemetery. It was so hard. I had a meltdown at school. It is Red Ribbon Week and the music teacher was telling the kids about "a guy and his addiction". I just lost it. My oldest son Chris came over for dinner. We had spaghetti. It was one of Scott's favorite meals. I hadn't made it since he died. Last night I made it to remember. He wouldv'e been 22. Several of Scott's friends left him a message on his MySpace acct. One of his best friends emailed me. It was nice they remembered. Today hasn't been a whole lot better. I am just so tired. I tried praying last night. It is the first time since Scott died. I didn't feel much. My faith has always been strong but this is really testing it. I still believe but everything feels different. I just don't feel like I can truly trust in, or believe anything these days. I guess it will get better. Or not.
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Sorry you feel so bad. I know how hard birthdays are. Joe passed March 25 and his birthday was May 20. I was out of my mind with hurt. My faith went down in the beginning. I was angry. Praying did not help. I did not feel anything. I am getting my faith back and praying is helping. I feel like I am doing something for Joe & all of us DS Moms. Please don\'t give up. Take Care love lucille
It\'s 6 months today that we lost Melissa and she would be 22 on Jan.3,2008. I know the hurt and pain that you are feeling very well. I also know the lack of faith feeling. I don\'t know if it will come back, maybe it will maybe it won\'t. I\'m not stressing over it. We have enough to work on. One thing at a time, One day at a time. I hope you are feeling better soon. Have a restful night and may you find peace and comfort soon. Take Care, HUGS
If there ever was a test of faith this is it. I argued, yelled, and called God names that don\'t bear repeating, I think he\'s okay with it. Even Jesus asked if God was sure He had to go through this. We are not alone in our doubt, those who say their faith never wavers are not telling the whole truth. It took me a long time to return to church and so semblance of faith. Each person walks their own walk and it\'s hard, regardless of how it\'s done. Forgive yourself if you doubt and just don\'t worry about it and go forward. Holding your hand. Love and hugs Cathy
It\'s ok to have doubts about God at this time. He\'s standing by and understands our pain. I\'ve always been a \"closet\" Christian, but now find that faith is all that gets me through. You\'re brave to fix your son\'s favorite food. I\'m not there yet.