Some might think I'm crazy, but it's a relief to finally understand what my daughters problem is. OK it's undiagnosed by a professional but its got to be it. My daughter is Borderline Personality Disorder. Why would that be a relief? Because I can understand a mental illness better than a charachter defect. It offers hope, if she's willing to work on it, and takes the burden off of me to fix her. I can't fix people. I fix computers.I will have to monitor my tendency to try to make things easier on her, because the only way she will be open to change is if she sees the need to change. I can not just enable her.Although BPD doesn't cause people to not find work, the rest of her attitude and behavior all fits. I can now just accept the fact that I cant fix my daughter, I can help my grandchildren, as opportunities present themselves. I can accept that I may have to raise them both. I hope the therapist she just started seeing has experience with bpd, and uses eather the cognitive behavior therapy or the dbt that I've read about. Basically, they need to teach her how to manage and control her emotions. IF she is willing to learn how to do so. It's also possible she will not be willing to admit to herself she has a real problem. It's a good sign that she admits she cant always cope with her children. Admitting there is an issue is first.I feal that I may now be free to love her, without giving in, or giving her what she wants, and without feeling stupid because she is capable of screwing up my life if I let her.It is my job to keep my grandkids and I, safe and secure, to my ability.God, grant me the serenityto accept the things I can not changethe courage to change the things I canand the wisdom to know the difference!!I will persevere to do the possible, and let God take care of the rest.