I am so confused about this subject. I got my gs from foster when he was 12mon. His mommy lived with us as well. She had gone to all the visitations with me. She was supposed to get a job, and show she could support him and thus get him back. My gs was required to go to daycare while I was at work. When I got him and for awhile afterwards he was more attached to me than her.I figured that was because she was 18 and I was more mature and he instinctively knew that. But she couldn't follow my rules and was sneaking a boyfriend in at night. I even found beer cans in his room. I had to throw her out,despite the fact they were bonding. I was afraid dss would take him away again because of her. Instead of getting umployment, she got pregnant. I let her move back in when they put her on bedrest, the bond began to grow again. She lost the baby. Instead of finding employment she got pregnant again, I sent her to a maternity home. I just don't know what to do with it all. When she is around he loves her and his bond appears to grow. However, she has other issues, a bad temper, she has yelled at him and said hatefull things. She screams and throws fits when everything is not her way. Her boyfriends have robbed me, her friends have totalled my car. We get along great with her living across town. I get her and the new gd on saturdays or Sundays, so she can visit gs and I can visit gd.She is on a waiting list for an apartment and talks of getting him back soon. He call me Mom, mommom, and gamma. Mom more often than not. Her calls her mommy and mom. She wants me to not let him call me Mom. He is over 2 1/2 yo and she still hasn't gotten a job, and is on welfare to support gd. I just can't see her affording to get him back. Do I honor her wishes about the Mom thing? I feel that he should call me whatever he wants, my other daughter calls me mom so I know he is hearing her as well, and she is not going to start calling me gramma all the time.Bottom line for me, if I really think she is going to get him back I should stop the "mom".I don't want to confuse him, as I love him so much. If I'm confused, he must be, it just doesn't seem to worry him now. Last night he pointed out everyone at the table and named us,PawPaw,Dindin, and for me and his mommy he was simultaneously pointing with different hands and saying MOM.