I don’t understand why my daughter would get pregnant TWICE before she became able to support her firstborn. I should be over this by now. However I’m still furious. It was not fair to him for her to continue to create children when she can’t support him yet. She seems so unaware of the fact she may have just guaranteed she will never be able to raise him. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe she will get her job training, and a place, and he will be happy to live with her. But what if she doesn’t, how will he handle it if she keeps his sister and not him? How would I handle it if I end up having to raise my granddaughter as well? I wish my daughter happiness, but how can she get that happiness when she continues to make these stupid choices. Why can’t she straighten up and stop screwing with everyone else’s life. Maybe she will. Maybe she won’t. I know exactly what Cindy must have been going through for the last 3 years. I pray to God I will never have to deal with the pain she must be feeling now. God help me live one day at a time, and let go of the grief, the anger, the confusion. Happiness is a choice; I bet Cindy thinks that too. I hope we are not both blind, and doomed to lose it completely or fall into the pit of despair. How long do I let her affect my life? How long will it take for her to step up and be an adult? How much longer before I will just up and say enough is enough? How do you protect a grand without enabling a daughter? Here comes another grand. I have to step up for her. I have to try to keep her safe. I am afraid I cannot do it on my own. And I am afraid I will fail her. I am afraid I will fail them all.
Replies
You are so right...we seem to have so much in common...I am feeling the exact same feelings right now...I have custody of my 2 year old grand daughter too....but she is raising her son who is now 11 months...she\'s a good parent to him...but her behavior is still quite immature and she can be so selfish at times....she has been with us only one week...but this is the third time she has come back home and it will be her last...our household is so upset right now...her worker and I decided that if the 2 women\'s shelters has no openings by tomorrow then we have a plan B...she will have to go to a friend\'s and her son will have to be put in foster care until an opening does become avaialbe....she got into a physical fight with my daughter who is 18 and at home with us...I cannot tolerate it....nor do I have the strength or the energy to look after another baby....I am exhausted and not 100% well myself....my arthritis in my back has gotten worse and I am going through major menopause early due to surgery...it\'s all just very overwhelming....but my daughter needs to start standing on her own 2 feet and making her own good decisions....we are not responsible for their happiness...they are....it has taken me this long to come to this conclusion....and like you I was afraid of failing her....but you know what? they are failing themselves....we have beyond our duty as a parent by raising their children...it\'s time for them to step and take a grip of life and dot it themselves....it\'s not our job anymore...they are adults and need to start acting like one....I efuse to do it any longer....I feel so so badly that my grandson will have to go into foster care for a few days...but I know in my heart he will be better off....because my plate is just too full...I have to have faith in her child worker to do the best for my grandson because I cannot do it...I really feel for what you are going through....because I know exactly what it\'s like...please think about what I\'ve said...you will find peace knowing you are doing what is best for your daughter...we can\'t grow up for them...they have to do that for themselves....and they will learn to become productive adults.