Why?

How can you leave me the way you did?Not only me, you also left your kids.Did you want to leave me just as messed up as you?Can't see you anymore,no matter what I do.What the fuck was you thinking?Was you even thinking at all?You knew I would find you,And my life would spiral out of control.You hurt the people you loved the most,Now inside I'm nothing, just a walking ghost.No matter what I did, you obviously didn't care.Now my heart and soul is in pieces,I can't even shed a tear.I don't know if I hate you,Or if I love you anymore,All I know is that it wasn't enough, you still died there on the floor.I'm bleeding and broken, there's nothing inside.I can't see what was so bad, That this was the only way you can hide.I hope what you did was enough to stop all the pain,Because when I feel again, my tears will pour out like rain.