Thank you all for your hugs and thoughts yesterday. I have to agree with Biowoman, this 5th year was extremely emotional. I had a hard time holding it together. I do think part of it is that this year it was actually the same day of the week. It doesn't help that amy is still set on moving the grandkids to Florida in July. The kids don't really want to go, Josiah (the youngest) still says he won't go. I don't know when the last time she went to the cemetary was, she didn't even put flowers there for Christmas. When she and Clinton were separated one time during their marriage, she got a tattoo and Clinton was really upset by it. Everyone else could have tattoos, but he didn't want his wife to have one...you know how that can go. Anyway, if she ever talked about getting another one, he would just throw a fit. She has gotten 3 more since his accident and yesterday she spent the day getting another one. He also lived in Florida one winter and worked there and he absolutely hated it. When he got home he said he would never go back there and he only did one time because amy was there visiting her biological father and he went to go with her to take the 2 middle kids to Disney and then to drive them all home. She keeps telling the kids that their Daddy would love to live in Florida if he were here and that is just a straight up lie. He also would never move his kids away from all of his and her family here. He knew how awful it was to have his oldest daughter in Arkansas and he said he would never separate his other children from their family. (Just a side note, amy's bio dad lives in Orlando and she plans to move to the Naples area...she doesn't get along with her Dad and cannot stand to be around him for very long, so that is not why she wants to move to Florida). I know this all must sound like rambling, but the fact that I lost Clinton and now might have his kids moved over a thousand miles away is just tearing me apart.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but I've had about all the "strength" that I can stand!!!!!
Thanks for listening to me ramble, you are my angels and I love you all. I hate it that I cannot make it to Utah this year. With everything that is going on, the economy the way it is and my trip to Arkansas for Jackie's graduation, I just cannot swing it this year. I will be there with you in spirit though...love you all...Lynn
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but I've had about all the "strength" that I can stand!!!!!
Thanks for listening to me ramble, you are my angels and I love you all. I hate it that I cannot make it to Utah this year. With everything that is going on, the economy the way it is and my trip to Arkansas for Jackie's graduation, I just cannot swing it this year. I will be there with you in spirit though...love you all...Lynn
Replies
It is so difficult... we lose a child, no matter how old that child is we still love a child... the spouse though seems to be able to \'go on\' and very well may have (eventually) other spouses, or at the least relationships and appear to replace their spouse... but WE, we still lost our child and we cannot EVER replace that child...
Yes, I am speaking of my situation as my s-i-l has moved on, is living with another woman (whom my grandkids HATE)... I even have a granddaughter living with me... the other 2 are old enough to be on thier own...
It\'s tough, hearing her lie to your grandkids, but it\'s harder still keeping it to yourself as you don\'t want to say anything and give her more cause to pull them away from you (I know I worried about that)...
I will miss you i n Utah.. if there is anyway you can find airfare you can room with me for free !!! (I reserved a room by myself since Jim was going to go but I\'m keeping him home this year).
Hugs, MaryLou
Lynn, I cannot make it to the retreat this year either but am looking forward to next year. Five years - sigh, a huge milestone year and the same day of the week? Very hard I am sure. I am not there yet but I can certainly see why it would be hard this year for you as you miss your precious son. And with the possibility of your grandchildren moving to Florida. I do hope your daughter in law changes her mind. Sending prayers and much love for you and Clinton, Linda
You can rant all you want,,, this is the place to do it. Having those grandkids move away is soooo difficult. love to you my friend!!
I can\'t even imagine what you are going through but I am sure it tears you up inside. It is so frustrating not having any say in the matter compounded by the 5th anniversary. I am so sorry.
With love,
Leda
Oh Lynn...none of it makes sense, does it? I really hope that she will change her mind and not move. Those children need you as much as you need them. I will tell you that because Evie was close to us in her first, few years...when we see her it is like old times. I know that is not good enough...but because of the close relationships you have with Clinton\'s children, I think you will have them forever. Hugging you soooo tight...I love you...Karen
I can only imagine how all of this makes you feel. Those grandchildren are our healers and I truly believe that it takes a village to raise children. I\'m so sorry that you are having to ride this roller coaster along with your daughter-in-law as it sounds as if she has not made a firm decision yet? Deep sigh...
You will be missed in Utah this year yet I certainly understand and there is always next year.
The tightest of (((hugs))) dear friend and lots of love.
XO Joanie
(((hugs))) tight, bone popping ones!
I so hope she will change her mind, and if not, that you will find your peace of mind in it all.
I haven\'t thought about it...I guess because it hasn\'t fallen that way for me yet...Kala\'s accident was on a Tuesday and there hasn\'t been another Jan 2 on a Tuesday yet....5 years, but no Tuesday...and Jan 2 next year will not be on Tuesday either...hmmmm....
You\'ll be sorely missed in Utah...and in my room! You\'re an awesome roomie!
Your journal doesn\'t sound like rambling to me at all. Just explaining what\'s going on in your life and your heart. I really hope Amy doesn\'t take the kids and move to Florida. What a heart-wrenching situation.
Ugh ~ I\'m winding up my third year (July 27th) and I guess it\'s just going to go on and on. Sigh. We are all stronger but, please, Lord ~ enough is enough!
Sending big tight hugs of comfort and peace, all wrapped up in lots of love ~ Debbie
Oh no - to maybe have your grandchildren leave is awful, to say the least. And awful for them, too, to have to leave everything they have with you. Fingers crossed Amy sees sense and changes her plans. In the mean time, take care of you ~ Joanna
Lynn I\'m so sorry for this situation with Clinton\'s wife planning to move. I live for my granddaughters and feel that Athena is all I have left of Jason\'s life, so I do understand how very upset you must be.
Sending you love and pray that Amy changes her mind. Terry
My heart hurts along with you and I, too, will pray that Amy changes her mind.
{{{{{hugs}}}}}