Ugh :(
Dear DS diary,
I feel heartsick. :(
That's about the only way I can really describe how my Thanksgiving went. It did go better than last year; no toilet episodes, fewer people around...I think the latter fed on the former, to be honest, but...
...I still felt really lonely. I don't want to be miserable, but I feel miserable, largely because I'm experiencing what my friends mystie and immarcie are, finding out who my real friends are. It's not good to be able to count the number of people I'm really friends with on one hand exactly, and none of them even live in my state (in a couple of cases not even in the US).
Today it may not have mattered much, because with so many stores already open with holiday sales, I'm pretty sure that if I had tried to go out, my mood would be even worse. I already have that infamous "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" song stuck in my head, and if previous years are any indication it will stay that way until Christmas. Ugh. :(
I feel heartsick. :(
That's about the only way I can really describe how my Thanksgiving went. It did go better than last year; no toilet episodes, fewer people around...I think the latter fed on the former, to be honest, but...
...I still felt really lonely. I don't want to be miserable, but I feel miserable, largely because I'm experiencing what my friends mystie and immarcie are, finding out who my real friends are. It's not good to be able to count the number of people I'm really friends with on one hand exactly, and none of them even live in my state (in a couple of cases not even in the US).
Today it may not have mattered much, because with so many stores already open with holiday sales, I'm pretty sure that if I had tried to go out, my mood would be even worse. I already have that infamous "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" song stuck in my head, and if previous years are any indication it will stay that way until Christmas. Ugh. :(
Replies
I\'m glad that yesterday didn\'t go as bad physically this year as they did last year!! At the same time, I\'m ever so sorry you\'re going through finding out who your real friends are and those that aren\'t:(:( It\'s a lonely way to live:(:(
Yesterday was anything but good for me but I did get through it. My pain factor was through the roof which didn\'t help anything either. Then there was the little tidbit that I was the \"odd man out\" so to speak. The other folks that were there were my DIL\'S family and had all kinds of things to share and plan for Christmas and I sat there like a bump on a log not having a thing to contribute. My 2 grandsons stayed in there rooms playing their video games and watching tv. Because my son\'s home is so small, they don\'t all gather at the dinner table but rather just grab a seat where ever they can.
The one \"friend\" I\'d had \'til she recovered from her cancer and could again start living her life (Karen) was courteous to me as were the rest of them, still, I was the odd man out listening to everyone\'s Christmas plans and who would be where when. I did try to \"socialize\" so to speak, but, as I just said, there really wasn\'t anything I could contribute.
Today I have to cook my H\'s Thanksgiving dinner. He feels he deserves one since there are no traditional leftovers for him to nibble on. NOT looking forward to that since my back is still screaming bloody murder:(
I do undertand that \"You\'re a mean one, Mr. Grinch\" thinking. I\'m dwelling on the old saying \"bah humbug\" as well. IF all goes as it did last year, we\'ll just be taking son and his family out for dinner Christmas Eve and that will be that. I\'ll pick up a small ham and a container of potato salad for H and he\'ll be happy with that and I won\'t have to overdo things cooking a lot of food:):)
We both made it through yesterday so lets give one another \"high fives\" for doing that at least!!!!
I haven\'t done the \"black Friday\" sales in years so I can at least stay home and avoid the maddening crowds:):)
Since we both \"survived\" Thanksgiving, I know we can do the same with Christmas and then it\'ll all be behind us for another year:):)
I hope your weekend will bring you something enjoyable that you can do for at least a little while to help relax the emotional stress you were under. Can you possibly call one of your stateside friends to \"catch up\" with? Just a thought as something you might be able to do and feel safe doing.
Take gentle care my dear friend....
(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))
I am glad you were at least able to survive Thanksgiving and there were less people around. I hope no one was there giving you a hard time!! It is true when it comes to friends. Many of mine just seem to not want to bother so I just don\'t consider them friends anymore. They can\'t seem to handle any mental health stuff, which is just so sad. If we had a broken arm or leg I bet they would help out.
I hear you on Christmas too. Besides I have next to no money for anyone other than my kids and can barely afford that. But I still like to give them something.
We can all just hope it gets here quick and leaves just as quickly. We will all have to band together to get through it!
(((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))