Dear DS diary,
Last night my parents dragged me out to dinner...again. :( Personally, I hate it with a passion. If there's anything that can be said for it, working with my coach (fitnesschik) has made it feel a little less guilty; lately I've been ordering salads and keeping the dressing on the side. But then came for me the coup de grace: I worked out about an hour later, which was a good test because I'm wondering if doing those might help with my sleep. It did no harm, I slept like a baby after using my isochronic tones afterward. Can't remember the last time I slept six consecutive nights.
Today was my intake interview for coaching with an Asperger's support organization. It was difficult to go through. I was ready for the primary person I was seeing because I had seen her photo on the organization's website. I was not ready for the person that was with her. :( Unfamiliar and me do not get along, I can't over the feeling that he/she only wants to hurt me the longer the visual contact goes. It ended up going for an hour and a quarter, and deep inside my heart was panicking enough that perhaps I should not have been surprised that when I finally got home I was emotionally KO'd.
4 nights remaining to the start of my PiYo attempt. Finishing up an initial fitness test tonight. Started using Shakeology yesterday...this part is hard for me to explain, but I know it's a dietary supplement. Fitnesschik can explain it better than I can...all I know is that I'm finding it helpful and useful, I'm definitely not grazing between meals like I used to.
Last night my parents dragged me out to dinner...again. :( Personally, I hate it with a passion. If there's anything that can be said for it, working with my coach (fitnesschik) has made it feel a little less guilty; lately I've been ordering salads and keeping the dressing on the side. But then came for me the coup de grace: I worked out about an hour later, which was a good test because I'm wondering if doing those might help with my sleep. It did no harm, I slept like a baby after using my isochronic tones afterward. Can't remember the last time I slept six consecutive nights.
Today was my intake interview for coaching with an Asperger's support organization. It was difficult to go through. I was ready for the primary person I was seeing because I had seen her photo on the organization's website. I was not ready for the person that was with her. :( Unfamiliar and me do not get along, I can't over the feeling that he/she only wants to hurt me the longer the visual contact goes. It ended up going for an hour and a quarter, and deep inside my heart was panicking enough that perhaps I should not have been surprised that when I finally got home I was emotionally KO'd.
4 nights remaining to the start of my PiYo attempt. Finishing up an initial fitness test tonight. Started using Shakeology yesterday...this part is hard for me to explain, but I know it's a dietary supplement. Fitnesschik can explain it better than I can...all I know is that I'm finding it helpful and useful, I'm definitely not grazing between meals like I used to.
Replies
Continue to use the isochronic tones. I read that using them regularly over time will help to regulate your brain waves. They significantly helped with my sleep disorder.
I hope these Asperger\'s meetings help you. Eye contact is a normal part of a healthy social interaction. I know eye contact makes you feel uncomfortable, but I highly doubt anyone is going to harm you, unless their body language suggests otherwise. For people without Asperger\'s, social behaviors come naturally. Since you have the condition, you\'ll have to work a little harder in order to compensate.
I am so hopeful for you (even tho you said the other person was making you nervous) you actually went and stayed. That is wonderful. How great you got some sleep. You sound like you are making headway. Don\'t forget to appreciate and congratulate yourself for every step you take
I hope you will give yourself a huge pat on the back for staying through the meeting in spite of your discomfort. You had the option to leave but you did not and that says a lot about how strong you are inside. There\'s a good chance at the next one you will remember how well you did initially and that will help you get through the it. Baby steps at first but they will lead to larger ones over time:):)
I tend to agree with MeggieLizzie that the OP had no intent to harm you unless their body language clearly indicated otherwise.
I\'m thrilled you\'ve finally been able to actually sleep for 6 consecutive nights:):) That will really help both your body and mind.
I wish you continued success in all the areas of your life and hope you will remember to give yourself positive validation of what you have overcome already!!!
David,may be so bold as to suggest something I learned back in high school when certain classes I took required f2f contact with others? My teachers had stressed the importance of eye to eye contact which, with my fear of speaking to large groups of people, or even small ones, was virtually impossible. One teacher, who was very compassionate and had noticed my discomfort, took me aside and gave me this suggestion. Rather than trying to do eye to eye contact, I instead, look at the tip of other people\'s noses.
Sounds a bit absurd, but, since my grade was partially contingent on that particular aspect, I gave it a try. Much to my amazement, it did in fact make things easier. I still use that today on the rare occasion that I must speak with someone I don\'t know, yet, want to give the impression I am in fact looking them in the eye. That does not mean what I am saying is untruthful, for me, it gives me a measure of safety looking at their nose rather than in the eye. I have yet to have anyone notice I am doing this, even in one on one situations. I still have issues with being amongst groups of people (i.e. strangers) but that little trick still helps today. This is merely a suggestion, I suspect your other friends have more constructive ideas.
Love the idea, but when you\'re permanently stuck in a world-is-out-to-get-you mentaility, as I am, even that isn\'t enough, and even online can\'t provide a strong enough shield at times. See my journal tonight for more.